Now, It's Mom

Sue

Now, It's Mom

Sue
sea-glass-113053_640Well, it has been a while since I’ve actively posted here although I do “lurk” quite often.

I am visiting my mom today, who was put into hospice in late January when she decided to stop taking Tamoxifen for her cancer. She was in the hospital for a few days before that for an infection and has gone down hill quickly. She has been on morphine since then and has now started losing her cognitive function and has tremors. The nurse said it was the morphine so she is now trying to go with only one a day instead of two. This morning she is having problems remembering how to dial her cell phone and I had to write checks to pay her bills because her tremors make it impossible for to write or sign her name. She is worn out. She is miserable. In all honesty she is ready to be done and I totally get it. So, what to do? My sister who is her primary caregiver has basically burnt out. I feel helpless and frustrated and depressed.

I just wish that things were quick and painless rather than drawn out and full of suffering. I feel like we just went through this with my dad (even though he died over a year ago) and none of us is ready to go through it again.

Sorry to be totally negative. But that is the way I am feeling currently.