Off My Rocker

Chris

Off My Rocker

Chris

runaway_truck_rampstress noun \ˈstres\


Definition of STRESS

: constraining force or influence: as


a : a force exerted when one body or body part presses on, pulls on, pushes against, or tends to compress or twist another body or body part; especially : the intensity of this mutual force commonly expressed in pounds per square inch

b : the deformation caused in a body by such a force

c : a physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be a factor in disease causation

d : a state resulting from a stress; especially : one of bodily or mental tension resulting from factors that tend to alter an existent equilibrium <job-related stress>

As the Church Lady (AKA Dana Carvy) would put it, "Well, isn't that special." Let's face it folks: I'm stressed and my true definition for this would be 'AUGH!' along with some arm waving and stomping of feet for added emphasis.

I'm not sure what's brought this on, but I suspect it's a number of things. Money seems to be the No. 1 item this week. At the end of this month I will be the sole provider for Mike and I as his long-term disability benefits through his work insurance will be terminated. We've applied for disability benefits from the government, but four months on and we still haven't heard anything. I feel overwhelmed with the prospect of trying to do this alone. I know we are okay for now, but the What If fairy seems to be following me around lately.

I'm also frustrated. Prior to us finding out that Mike's benefits were going away we had planned for a wonderful 10th anniversary trip. We didn't do the honeymoon thing as for some reason we thought buying a house and a logging truck made more sense. lol Anyhow, we were going to road trip it from here in Alberta to the Oregon coast. I saved up the money and we were raring to go in August. This trip is on hold indefinitely until we can figure out what we are going to do for supplimented income. Mike is taking my nephew to go see my in-laws next week, and that will be the only major trip anyone is going on. Half of me is jealous and angry, the other half of me is glad he gets to get out of the house before he loses his mind.

I'm tired, I'm grumpy and I want to run away (just like when I was 5). I know that the running part doesn't solve a damn thing, but maybe just a time out. Time to clear my thoughts and not be on the verge of tears.

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ejourneys

Hi, Chris -- I love the bike ride and staycation idea! For me, just sitting and reading on the front porch or going to a local park does the trick. I take my journal, camera, eReader, and music with me. Even if it's just the front porch I am still getting out of the house and out into the fresh air. That little change of scenery does me a world of good.

Chris

Hi gang,\r\n\r\nThanks for letting me write that and taking the time to read it. I figured if I didn't let it out I was bound to go play in traffic... or in a garden to eat worms :S. Once my work day was done yesterday I took all that frustrated energy and turned it in to a bike ride. My poor dogs that came along thought they were going to have a stroke before we got home lol. \r\n\r\nWhen Mike is gone I will be doing a bit of a staycation. He will be taking the dogs with him so that is also a bit of a weight of my shoulders. Not that I won't miss them, but it's nice to have just the cat and I to worry about for a bit. \r\n\r\n\r\nThanks again for letting me have a soft place to fall when I needed it.

Denise

Hi Chris--I'm so glad you wrote this out. The worries can be so overwhelming--and there's so much to worry about. \r\n\r\nWould it help if you wrote about the worries and then worked on tackling each one with an action?\r\n\r\nI also wonder: While Mike is gone, could you give yourself a staycation? Do a few special things to make it feel like you're on vacation, too?\r\n\r\nI love that you're here with us. :)

James myers

running away would be the best thing i could do for myself, and If I had half the means, I'd do it. But I've been in the hole so long, I can't seem to find a viable way.\r\nThe various organizations are designed to help you become a better martyr, not avoid becoming one. The billions of hours of care provided cannot be accounted for in our system. The only way to save oneself is to be tough enough to abandon loved ones. I'm taking care of 2 parents, taking care of a spouse is different trip. My Mom took care of my father for 30 years until it destroyed her. Caregiving is a transfusion of your own vitality to his. Especially since the USA dismanteling the New Deal the way it dismantled the Banking regulations, Care-giving is a form of state sponsored suicide.