Off My Rocker
stress noun \ˈstres\
Definition of STRESS
: constraining force or influence: as
a : a force exerted when one body or body part presses on, pulls on, pushes against, or tends to compress or twist another body or body part; especially : the intensity of this mutual force commonly expressed in pounds per square inch
b : the deformation caused in a body by such a force
c : a physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be a factor in disease causation
d : a state resulting from a stress; especially : one of bodily or mental tension resulting from factors that tend to alter an existent equilibrium <job-related stress>
As the Church Lady (AKA Dana Carvy) would put it, "Well, isn't that special." Let's face it folks: I'm stressed and my true definition for this would be 'AUGH!' along with some arm waving and stomping of feet for added emphasis.
I'm not sure what's brought this on, but I suspect it's a number of things. Money seems to be the No. 1 item this week. At the end of this month I will be the sole provider for Mike and I as his long-term disability benefits through his work insurance will be terminated. We've applied for disability benefits from the government, but four months on and we still haven't heard anything. I feel overwhelmed with the prospect of trying to do this alone. I know we are okay for now, but the What If fairy seems to be following me around lately.
I'm also frustrated. Prior to us finding out that Mike's benefits were going away we had planned for a wonderful 10th anniversary trip. We didn't do the honeymoon thing as for some reason we thought buying a house and a logging truck made more sense. lol Anyhow, we were going to road trip it from here in Alberta to the Oregon coast. I saved up the money and we were raring to go in August. This trip is on hold indefinitely until we can figure out what we are going to do for supplimented income. Mike is taking my nephew to go see my in-laws next week, and that will be the only major trip anyone is going on. Half of me is jealous and angry, the other half of me is glad he gets to get out of the house before he loses his mind.
I'm tired, I'm grumpy and I want to run away (just like when I was 5). I know that the running part doesn't solve a damn thing, but maybe just a time out. Time to clear my thoughts and not be on the verge of tears.
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