People Who Need People

jan

People Who Need People

jan
People who need people
Are the luckiest people in the world

If that's the case, I must find my mother a Kentucky Derby bonnet and head for the nearest racetrack.

We've been through a lot of changes lately; The Bridge Over Troubled Waters Phase (Introduction to Incontinence 101), the "Sleeping Beauty Phase", the "Iron Chef Meets Red Bull Phase". She is bored with me. Albert Einstein's wisdom of "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" finally hit home when I stopped putting her hearing aids in her ears. And nothing changed without them inserted anyway.

Her care is much more complicated and intense than it was one year ago. My sister used to care for her when I needed an overnight break of a day or two, and during my annual solo trip in March to Ohio to attend to taxes and marital cavorting. She is declining to care for our mom in this way any longer.

Long ago and far away we had wonderful neighbors in New Jersey; the mom became my mom's best friend. When my parents moved to Florida in the 70's, this family also moved to our new neighborhood, and the moms worked together at the same job. When my parents relocated to a deed-restricted community in the 80's, our friends moved, too. The moms remained companions and allies in golf, lunch dates and declining husband-health. Before my mother showed outward symptoms, Other-Mom, or M., started showing signs of depression and mental difficulty. Three years ago her daughter left her job in New York and moved in with her mom to be her full-time caregiver. Never in our wildest dreams as wonky kids and hippy chicks could we have predicted the course of our lives, coming back together after 40 years, incredibly different life choices, a thousand miles, and caregiving our mothers four blocks away.

We are blessed to have an assisted living facility in our town which allows for temporary respite stays. Where my parents lead the way in choosing life paths in the past, M. and her daughter are blazing the trail for my mother and I in the present. M. has recently been admitted to the facility, and we are anticipating my mom staying there for 10 days beginning December 26. The hope is that the ladies can be roommates and help each other adjust or "get settled" as the facility calls it.

I tell myself that all the people my mother needs are there, and she will be the very, very luckiest person in the world. Anyone for Win, Place or Show?

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3 Comments

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Denise

You've got my $2 for a win!! I think this is a terrific idea and I so hope the settling happens quickly. \r\n\r\nWhat are your plans for your 10 day break?

LilMagill

Sounds like a WIN to me! That's a great story about the moms sticking together for so long. I know that'll help her.

John Parks-Coleman

I'm for WIN! It's good to hear that a support system is working. Both moms can also have a respite while you do as well.