Please Be Nice to Her!


Please Be Nice to Her!

card-game-570698_640My mom is finally venturing out after her bad fall last month.

She went to church on Sunday and went to a friend's home to play Bridge, a game my mom loves, yesterday. Her friend lives on in a second-floor condo in a building without an elevator. She's not up to driving and her unsteadiness means a flight of stairs intimidates her. So my dad dropped her off and I picked her up. Unfortunately, my dad and I both had commitments so we juggled the drop-off a bit. My dad brought my mom about 45 minutes before the Bridge game started and the other seven guests arrived.

The day before the game, my mom called her friend, explained the situation (she can't drive, needs help in the stairs and my dad has a commitment) and asked if she could arrive early. Her friend replied in a not very understanding voice, "Well, how early are you going to come?"

When I arrived to pick up my mom, I buzzed her friend to let me in the building. "I'm Denise, I'm here to pick up my mom," I explained through the lobby intercom. "Thank goodness," the friend answered. "I was just going to throw her out." Ha. Ha. Apparently my mom's friend was joking. I didn't get the joke.

I arrived at the apartment but didn't venture in too far because of my snow boots. I could hear my mom make her way from the living room to the kitchen and then to the front door where I stood. It's startling to see my mom outside the house--she looks so frail and old. Her dentures are still recovering from the fall (they float a bit) and her movements are very slow. Later, she told me that her hearing aids failed her during her outing so she couldn't really hear. Her friend, maybe 13 years younger, flitted around the apartment, repeating to me with a laugh, "I was just getting ready to throw your mom out."

So, I got out my mom before her friend tossed. We walked slowly down the hallway, deliberating down the stairs. Halfway down the stairs, my mom said, "I've lost my steps. I just don't know how that happened."

On the way home,  my mom laughed as she recounted that her friend told her she was going to toss her out. "I had such a wonderful time," my mom said. "It felt good to get out." And, then she added, "We had terrible cards. We came in third." And then she shared, "My partner got really mad and left early."

Ohhhh... By this time, I'm so glad my mom got out but wondering about these friends. Did anyone notice that my mom still has slight bruising on her cheeks? Did they see how slow she moves? Couldn't they see that she's really getting old? Were they nice to her, I fretted as I drove home.

It's a relief my mom feels ready to go out into the world again. I just so hope the world treats her kindly.

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I think older people who see their friends and family decline get threatened and unnerved by it. No excuse for your mum's friends to act that way. Just a possible reason for that unexpected behavior and betrayal. I love how your mum keeps a good attitude throughout the situation. She's marvelous. I hope she doesn't get discouraged about going out and even at this point she can find new ways to get out and enjoy herself.

Lillie Fuller

I hope there was at least one person out of all those there who was kind to your mom. I hate when I see or hear anyone being nasty to the elderly. I don't care what the circumstance, there is absolutely no reason to be hateful! I'm so glad your mom is venturing out, I wish mine could, and I pray that those ladies give her the respect she deserves!


Woah, with friends like that . . . They sounded very unfriendly, the host and the bridge partner. :-( I'm glad your mom enjoyed the outing anyway.


Yikes. Your mother might be safer with a pack of wolves!