Respite = Forgive or Forgive = Respite


Respite = Forgive or Forgive = Respite

Hi...short post today..

Addressing a lot of things that are similar in one way yet different the next.

My hubby's pain is back, which means watching him writhe about in bed and being helpless to do a thing. Many late-going-to-bed nights or many interrupted nights, yet still trying to accomplish the same quantity during the day, as people question me for sleeping in. Phooey on them!

I just got the paperback version of the Caregifter's: Help and it made me cry and very happy at the same time.  It is quite an honor to be surrounded by so many accomplished caregivers!

Denise's post today about 6 words: I was going to respond to and my response was going to be:

Forgiveness. An enabler to move on.

But I didn't want to use that because I didn't want to repeat the usage of the word forgiveness. So I went to and looked both through the thesaurus and the dictionary. Thought you might enjoy what I found as a result of learning that they were synonyms:

Forgiveness: reprieve, grace, overlook....respite. Origin: before 900: for + give replacing Middle English free from an obligation.

Respite: a break, breath, downtime in activity...forgiveness. Origin: Middle English-respit...Latin - respectare (with a tilda over the a), a frequentive of look back.

So, forgiveness is a way of giving respite to an idea or action that occurred. Or, respite is a way of taking a reprieve from an occurrence.

In either case, both happened for me yesterday.

Last year I was referred to an emergency assistance group as a way of creatively getting assistance in our home. I called but was not prepared for the response. The director of the program referred me to one of the assistants. They verbally yelled and chewed me out for not working and left me in such a state that I sobbed uncontrollably. They called back and I gave my husband the phone. They refused to talk to him because he was "disabled." The same person said that they would call us back in two days. They didn't.

I knew that the referral was good, and that the director was a nice person but what occurred left such a bad taste in my mouth and me feeling so embarrassed that I had lost all thought of how to address it.

But Mouse! You take on executive management at hospitals and the emergency preparedness system. How can you let this catch you? Yes, I was wondering that, too! I think it was because I was hurt at the vile thoughts that were so demeaning and directed at me personally. I knew I had done nothing wrong and yet this person had left me with a very clear indication that I had.

But as I said a few posts's time to move on.  And recently this event had popped up in my head and I wanted to address it and move on.

After speaking with the referral, I gathered up "my bootstraps" and called the director. I had to call her for something else anyway so it was as good as time as any to approach the other issue that had been eating at me. I finished with the first issue and then said, "There's something else I need to talk to you about and I'm going to have a rough time doing it."  I told her what happened and that several months later was too late for her to do anything about the issue, but I wanted her to know as, quite frankly, I still wanted the help for my family.

What followed was the most apologetic and heartwarming conversation I've had with a "helping" organization in a long time. The director felt bad, even though I kept telling her I knew it wasn't "her" that caused the problem. But she followed with a list of things she needed from me to help me and is already working on some things irrespective of that list to help my family.

So my "respite" yesterday was "forgiveness" and I'm now, "moving on."

Have a happy day!

The Roaring Mouse

PS Jo & Denise: I'm hoping this shows on the RSS feed!