Rough Day

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Rough Day

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clovelly-327874_640Well, my joy was short lived. I kinda figured that would be the case.

What an awful thought...I know I should be more optimistic. I'm just so tired. I'm tired of everything I have to do every day. I'm tired of dealing with people who act like children. I'm just tired.

My husband is mad at me for some reason. The only thing I can think of is because I made plans for Friday without asking him. In my defense, I always ask him and he always says, "you don't need to ask me. If we don't already have plans, I don't care what we do."  So I made plans to go to a dinner that's a fundraiser for my cousin's water polo club. Once my husband seemed upset, I told him he didn't have to go. He just got all snotty with me and said, "Thanks for including me in the decision." He's been ignoring me ever since, so I assume that's what he's angry about.

I don't think I deserve that. I bust my butt everyday to provide for us, and to take care of him, and all I ask is one night where I don't have to cook dinner or do the dishes and this is how I'm treated?

I just want to run away. I know I can't, but the urge is so strong. I was looking up vacations on Groupon last night, and I kept thinking about nice it would be to go somewhere all by myself, without a care in the world. Except I know I would be eaten up by guilt at leaving my husband, even temporarily.

I wish I could go home, have a good cry, and then sleep for a couple of days. Maybe that would help.

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Meghan

Thanks jillybean. I will probably take your advice and talk with his doctors. Hopefully someone can help.

Meghan

Thank you Sue. I will definitely be going to that dinner. Besides the fact that I already paid for the tickets, it's a pasta buffet. Who could turn that down? lol, I love pasta. If my husband chooses not to go, I will give his ticket to someone else, and he can stay home and pout like a little baby. I really don't care at this point. I know he's exhausted and tired of being sick and helpless. He can't stop being sick, but he can do things to make his life a lot easier. He chooses not to do those things, so my sympathy is running low. Hopefully he gets it together soon, for his own sake.

Meghan

I'm glad you have your daughter there to help you out. We live with my parents, but they aren't home much to help. My dad doesn't get home until late in the evening and my mom is always out doing who knows what after work. My dad did pick my husband up from dialysis on Monday because he was home for the day. I just have such a hard time asking for help. The few times I did reach out and ask, I was met with resistance. I just assume that people are trying to be polite by offering, while secretly hoping that I won't ask. So I don't. Unfortunately, most of his family lives far away so it's not practical for them to come and help. I think just taking time for myself will help, even if I can't less my load any. I'm hoping to find a new job soon, and hopefully that will help relieve some of the stress and give me more patience for dealing with stuff at home.

jan

So what did you see on Groupon that looked interesting to you? I thought that was fabulous, even if you don't ever go, what a great, safe, way to escape for a little while. No, you don't deserve to be treated like that. You know you are doing your very best. I sure hope you go out and enjoy every minute. It will make you an even better caregiver.