Rough Holiday

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Rough Holiday

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unplugSo Mom's sick with bladder infection, the Enterococcus faecalis. Of course, her primary is on holiday so the gynecologist gave a urine test and cipro. We've been waiting for the culture for one week. Now anyone who knows Mom knows it's two to three weeks of meds.  Miserable holiday, glad it's over. Alone, the two of us, always.

Next is Mom's birthday -- Saturday, the 3rd, then mine, Tuesday, the 6th. Can't wait til it's over. Every year on my birthday I always hope something will be good, some surprise, some neat thing happens, a party, presents etc. NEVER does. The few really stand out birthdays were when I was 16, a family fight actually with my mom and sister where my sister karate chopped mom in the neck! That was an awful one, but most are. It's being alone, overworked and sad every single year.

Mom has made it worse this year not because of all the work and care but she says to me, "I wished you'd never been born, I didn't want another kid." And "I probably won't be here next year so you won't have to worry about working for stuff for me on your birthday." Talk about walking into another room and crying. Whew. My sister had a lot of problems, she took drugs in high school to be popular, she passed in 2001 at Thanksgiving, so you know how those birthdays were.

Holidays are ALWAYS bad. My dad passed at Easter, my grandmother at Christmas. All I wanted was one good holiday to remember. Yeah I'm depressed and miserable right now. Going through menopause big time, and it's hard. I'm a caregiver with so many health problems it's not funny. I make do it is what it is.

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BeccaB

The holiest of all holidays are those kept by ourselves in silence and apart; the secret anniversaries of the heart.\r\n--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow \"Holidays\"\r\n\r\nI read this in Real Simple magazine (waiting at the mechanic - fun stuff, I know).\r\n\r\nI truly hope you can do something *just for you.*

BeccaB

Christine, this is so heart breaking! The holidays can be so tedious; I feel like the servant feeling intensifies. I could go on and on, but I just decided a couple days ago to let it all roll off my back! I hope you can make some time on your birthday and do something special for you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!