Rough Week Finally Ending

riverbed-261250_640I am the person who researches A LOT. I know about all there is to know about frontotemporal degeneration since this journey began.

On Tuesday, I decided to attend a local FTD support group. I followed my Garmin instructions and it took me two hours to get there! It is a 45-minute drive. The traffic was horrible, as it started at 6:30, so rush hour Atlanta. I was a little late (which I hate). There were 10 people there. Everyone shared where their caree was (99% were spouses) in the process. I got to meet someone I talked with on the FTD forum, and that was nice.

Although my mother-in-law died of this disease, this support meeting just sort of slapped me in the face. The reality of what is to come came crashing home. I was glad to hear people whose spouses were two years post diagnosis and still about the same, that was encouraging. Those who were more years out were not as pleasant to hear.

Wednesday was a BAD day. I felt so overwhelmed by pending decisions. I could not focus, I kept forgetting things. I would stop mid story and think....what was I saying?

Thursday I went to my psych appointment for my antidepressant follow-up. I explained that I felt the dose had been fine, but Wednesday was not good. I told her why. She said these very wise words "I would worry if you did not have a day like that after the meeting. This is normal, and we don't treat normal."

I got to thinking about that in the course of just caregiving. We have a new "normal." We have to get used to it being "normal." We don't need to treat "normal." It is okay to have bad days when this is your "normal."

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