Running on Empty

Meryl
Mom is being released today from the hospital after spending a week there. Drknowitall originally said that Mom had pneumonia and now has changed his diagnosis to emphysema. On Thursday, Drknowitall told mom that if she wanted she could get another doctor. I spoke to him after that regarding this and said I am okay with him being her doctor but we both need to be on the same page and the constant back and forth to the hospital the past three weeks has been very stressful on her. For now I don't know who to change her doctor to. The nursing home has another doctor and he is there more often but he is not affiliated with the hospital that she would be going to. Is that a good reason not to switch doctors?

I have been beside myself with worry. This last time with mom to the hospital and how she looked I started to fear that she wouldn't make it. I have had a few days where I just wanted to cry and feel so all alone with dealing with the constant questions not to mention phone calls. I have been running myself ragged and yesterday I felt horrible but I pushed myself to go to the hospital anyway because I started to feel guilty and the "what ifs" started going through my head.

I don't know how to rid myself of the worry and let things just play out. I am sure this is a common feeling amongst caregivers but not sure what the answer is.

My sleeping and eating patterns have been really bad.

I hate having to deal with this alone.

I am hoping that mom doesn't have to go back and forth anymore. This is really exhausting both physically and emotionally draining.

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