Sad and Angry

Today, I’m feeling sad and angry. My late brother, my only sibling who was 10 years my senior, would’ve been 57-years-old today. It’s hard for one to reflect on being 15 years “older” than his late sibling was when he died. And this was so much crap at work, and my mother whining on the phone about things last night which, in her defense, also had to do with her not feeling well which isn’t anybody’s fault…sometimes I just can’t take it anymore. Have any of you sometimes felt like you want just to go into the streets, find some stranger, grab them by the shirt collar, look them close and straight in the eyes, and just shout: “Hey, you don’t know me..but do you know my late loved one’s birthday was today, and I lost my parent to cancer in the last few years? Didn’t you KNOW them like I did, too??” That’s how I feel. Sometimes, I just really wish I could say with authority or without embarassment that I feel like the rest of the world’s and people’s problems aren’t as important as what has happened in my and my family’s life. I know that would be untrue that they aren’t as important..but just feeling at times like you just want to take a break from the mental and emotional merry-go-round of it all, know what I mean? I guess it’s just felt like a day of short patience and not feeling like suffering anybody’s bullpoo-poo. lol Ugh. Sorry. Me bad, annoyed, and tired! And, lastly, also sorry to you here who I know have even so much more than I to bear and feel intolerable of each and every day right now..

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