7 Messages We Wish Our Carees Could Give Us


7 Messages We Wish Our Carees Could Give Us

tulips-708410_640Caregiving can feel like such a loud time (I shout a lot in my head) and yet so much stays silent. A caree's disease process, a fear of being vulnerability, an inability to deal with emotions can take away the words we so want to hear from our carees. We often have so many questions that our carees, for many reasons, may not be able to answer. We often have struggle with so many doubts that our carees just may not be able to quell.

I gave some thought to what we wish our carees could tell us and came up with these seven messages:

  1. Thank you for all you do. Your care and commitment mean the world to me.

  2. Enjoy your life. I understand that sometimes my care needs make enjoying your life tough. As often as you can, do what you can to enjoy your life.

  3. Live your life. I can see how much you struggle with feeling that you must put your life on hold. When a chance for a dream to come true happens, take it. When a chance to feel alive happens, do it.

  4. I know you do the most. I worry the others won't come so make a big deal when they do. But, I know, I see and I feel all you do. You bring me an enormous amount of peace and comfort.

  5. I'm sorry for my bad days. I'm struggling, I'm hurting and I'm scared. I'm sorry for when I take it out on you. Please forgive me.

  6. I'm so proud of you. You light up the room, you bring a song to my heart, you make my day. You are a blessing.

  7. You are doing enough. I know you worry about whether or not you could do more. You are doing all that you can and it is enough. You are enough.

What would you add? And, please let us know about the special words your caree has shared with you.

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I will pretend that my mom said this to me, because I know she would if she could. And I'll feel good about it, anyway.

Lillie Fuller

Thank you Denise. Another one to print out and hopefully print and hang on the wall so when my siblings come over they too can read it and (weep) appreciate it! \r\n\r\nMy mom tells me thank you many times a day. I know she means it. I can see it in her eyes and feel it in her voice. She is very appreciative. I appreciate that. It means everything to me and makes it all worthwhile. \r\n\r\nI agree with Mar about putting this somewhere where my own kids have it, they know what I go through with caregiving and I want them to know that I want them to enjoy their life, I don't want them to have to worry or wait or wonder if they will have help.


So wonderful, Denise ...\r\n\r\nAnd you know how I plan to use it? I plan to put it in my \"Advanced Directives\" folder for Tom and the kids. Should long term care be necessary for me, read these statements often. Put me in respite, take that vacation -- and enjoy your lives! It's what I would want for you.


That brought tears to my eyes.


My wife tells me every single day how much she appreciates how I stepped up and how much I do every day for the family since she got sick.