Shopping No One Wants To Do

Lisa

Shopping No One Wants To Do

Lisa
escalator-283448_640What kind of shopping would this be? Um, shopping for funeral arrangements.

I know, if you follow tradition, you go with who your family has always used. Well, as we all know, caregiving can put a pinch on our finances, especially if there isn't ample life insurance to spend freely. When Mom passed, we followed tradition and went with the local funeral home with the polished marble floors and ornate furnishings. Honestly, that place looks like it could be an addition on the Biltmore House. All of her family had always "been there" and she expected the same. I knew this and didn't think to do anything different.

Fast forward six years down the road in caregiving with our finances strapped and Dad having probably just enough insurance to put himself away (he had more on her). This past weekend I had the experience of dealing with "the other" funeral home in town, as Mom always said. Honestly, I had never met anyone as kind and compassionate to my family. I was very touched because the survivors, brothers of a distant cousin who passed, had nothing. I know this. She had no life insurance and they were at their wit's end. They were able to get a few donations, yes, including from me because family is first and I felt so sorry for them. The funeral director there made up the difference. All I could think of was how he took the time out of his Sunday to handle the memorial service, even staying afterward with the family to share in the meal. You don't find a lot of people like that now in this materialistic society.

In the back of my mind, I've been wrestling with "shopping" for years now. Yes, I know it should have already been done. I just didn't want to do it. I'm at the point now (with Dad nearing 90) that I feel I need to do it to make myself feel better. But who wants to shop for this? NO one!! if you have any sense.

After talking with my daughter last night I told her I wanted to go to this other funeral home and see what they offered. I can tell you I was treated with such kindness and respect. I felt like a burden was lifted from me when I left, so I know I made the correct decision. But why the focus now? Well, several times this last week, Dad has started mentioning leaving and going home. We know he's home, but he means HOME. His Heavenly home. He wants his clothes, his shoes, to get himself together and go see my Mama. I know he's tired, and lonely, and he misses Mom terribly. I guess at the age he is now that's what he longs for. I'm not ready to give him up. Don't know that I ever will be. But I do know he's ready and focused on where he's going.

And, since this (ahem) shopping trip is now out of the way, I can focus on just enjoying the sweet time I have left with him.