food-36427_640Today my church was having an indoor picnic after services for the July 4th holiday. I SO wanted to go.

I haven't been to an indoor picnic before and I have never been to Sunday morning services since Mom is especially rough in the mornings. I usually try to attend Wednesday evening services when I am able. I told Mom yesterday morning that I had a mind to go and she was excited for me to get out of the house for a couple of hours.

Last night she went paralyzed again. I can't help but think it is due to her excitement for me. Maybe I shouldn't have told her my desire to go so early, maybe I should have waited until this morning to fill her in, maybe she wouldn't be in such pain right now.

Big sigh, what to do.

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I thought I had already replied to this, lookingheavenward. I know how it is not to be able to do things you want to do - and you deserve the pleasure of getting out and your enjoying yourself. I hope you can take the next opportunity that comes your way.


Boy, I can so relate to the conflict of filling my mother in on information, or springing it on her. Filling her in ahead of time used to honor her independence and dignity, including her in on my plans. But then she had the time to mull it over and twist it into unreality. If I didn't tell her, and sprung the news on her, she blamed me for keeping her uninformed; it seemed a violation of trust. It is such a delicate balance. You are doing such a good job in caring for her! I hope you do get to an event soon.


I went to church this morning. First time in 3 weeks. I can leave my Mom for a couple of hours. Sometimes I am dressed and ready to go and all of a sudden she gets a stomachache. Then I can't leave because she can't walk without assistance and then barely is able to. My whole life is planned around her bathroom visits. My church is having lunch and a concert of patriotic songs next weekend. I want to take her in the wheelchair but so far she always says no. I am hoping since it will be a casual dress service I can talk her into going. She has very little social interaction. Say a prayer!


Hi--Oh, what a disappointment! I'm so sorry. \r\n\r\nYou didn't cause your mom's pain. You were right to communicate with her about your plans.\r\n\r\nI wonder if it would help in the future if you reached out to your church when you want to attend a special function. Perhaps you could call your pastor a week before an event to ask if a volunteer could stay with your mom while you attend the event. Maybe having the volunteer while you're gone would help both you and your mom.\r\n\r\nI soooo hope you'll be able to attend another event soon. \r\n\r\nThanks so much for keeping us posted.