Something New

Casandra Porter

Something New

Casandra Porter
blockie-checklist-mdMany things have finally started to come together after months of trying to get them organized. We finally have Marc's COBRA coverage setup and a new ID card on the way, since he lost his original.

We have a scheduled blood test and MRI, as well.

I am also in the process of getting him setup with a new primary care physician since he has an ENT and neurologist. I like the idea of having someone more centralized and involved with his care that knows what's going on with all fronts and can be a back-up for refills, tests, etc.

In researching him a primary MD at Stanford I ran across a few whose profiles stated they focused on palliative care. Having no idea what this was, I did a little further research and discovered, hey, this is just what I am looking for. Kind of like, a one-stop shop of medical care. You can find out more here: http://www.getpalliativecare.org/whatis/

Once I learned what it was (and strongly feel this should happen at any medical office, regardless) I decided to look over our concerns and make a more definitive list of things we wanted checked when we make this appointment.

In making his list, I started making one of my own. I don't have insurance, as I opted out of my own to make it more affordable to keep his and take care of his medicines, etc. But I have concerns.

Yet, as I wrote my list, I had to ask myself. How many of these things are a real concern for me and how many are manifested because I am looking for something?

I am not usually one to romanticize illnesses. I've had a couple of occasions when I walked around with pneumonia while reaffirming to myself and others that it was "just a cold." But somewhere between not sweating the small stuff of my own and battling with Marc's larger more life-threatening issues, I can't help but feel looking at this list that I may be turning into a bit of a hypochondriac.

I hope this is not the case. I hope that with all the added stress lately and the downtime, I'm just going through a phase and it will all pass.

What a horrible feeling to think you have a problem and no way to solve it. And I think because I recently just dealt with this entire fiasco of getting Marc's insurance straightened out and all the scenarios of "what ifs" that were running through my head for him that I am now doing the same thing with myself. I am assuming this is all a product of my current anxiety issue. Hopefully soon this will all pass and I can go back to being my "somewhat" carefree self.

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ejourneys

So glad you have Cobra, the PCP, and the tests set up! Thanks also for the link. I think the lists are great, getting everything and every concern down where you can see them. I also think it's good that you are considering everything, so that you can evaluate what you need for your peace of mind. Turning the focus to our own health can feel strange, but it is also vital. I love Pegi's advice on resources and hope you can find some for yourself.