Sometimes I Think My Life is a Wreck


Sometimes I Think My Life is a Wreck

It's been awhile since I checked in...since Nov. after Mom's birthday in fact.  It’s been quite a month. Soon after Nov. 15, I was suffering from sciatic pain and decided to see the doctor.  First I received a muscle relaxant. A temporary fix. I went back and received steroids which I couldn’t take after the first night.  Too much tightness in the chest. I went to quick care a third time and asked for therapy after finding out my insurance would pay for the massage & therapy.  Therapy scheduled, but I never went. Instead, chiropractor and massage. Physical therapy starts Jan 7. I stopped driving Dad to golf and instead, Mom and I are spending time at home and enjoying our mother/daughter relationship.

Dad had been driving to Sonic and back for their dinner 4 times a week.  He drove himself to golf 3 times a week. He asked my brother to get Sonic meals a few weeks after daylight savings time reversed.  The sun set at the same time he drove toward the house and he couldn’t see the road from the brightness of the sun. He said he needed sunglasses and used the glasses they gave him after his cataract surgery as he drove toward the house a week ago.  He ran into a car that was jumping another car on the side of the road, backed up and hit the car behind him. The car couldn’t be fixed. The insurance company gave him a check for the 2010 Toyota he was driving. Now he is without a car to drive. It’s been a nightmare for us.  Dad is 92 and received two citations causing an accident with bodily injury. He has a court date in a few weeks and still wants to buy a car so he can drive again. Mom has been remarkably calm during this episode.  

I had to cancel my trip home last month because my brother didn’t want to stay with the parents alone.  I didn’t cancel this one and my brother from Austin came with his wife to stay with Mom and Dad to help.  They are buying the Christmas tree and decorating it tomorrow. I will be back at midnight. It’s been a wonderful 3 days home with Greg and I am grateful for my brother and his wife.  Mom definitely needs a woman to care for her since she needs so much help bathing and going to the bathroom. She misses me and I will soon be with her.

I had checked into getting a caregiver from the agency to help when I can’t or when I go home.  It took weeks, but I finally have one in place for the next time. It’s through private care until Mom’s insurance provides one for us.  I want her to come while I’m there to get used to the routine. The caregiver stand-in needs to be there when Dad is gone because my Mom doesn’t want my brother to see her bottom.  My Mom is a gentle soul with so much love and has taken a lot of physical and emotional abuse from Dad through the years. Understandably, he doesn’t want strangers entering the house when he is home. Dad was never in the room when the nurse and therapists came for Mom.  

My caregiving experience thus far has been an education.  It’s been a learn as you go process and the headaches, emotional rollercoaster, and physical pain has all been for Mom. I am the only daughter and she needs me to stay healthy and emotionally stable.  She doesn’t mind having the caregiver take my place for a few hours each day while I go home 720 miles away to see my husband for a couple of days. I still have a husband who loves me and misses me. He has his “service” dogs for emotional support.  We have three wonderful lap dogs who love to be around his gentle and giving heart. I am blessed. 

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I am so glad to hear from you, Anita! We have so much to worry about and it does takes such a toll on us. I love your last paragraph which I'll use a reminder for myself. :) Fingers crossed that all goes well with the hired caregiver. Keep us posted as you can.