Sorting It Out

Tina Duncan

Sorting It Out

Tina Duncan
ball-1065139_640I'm a little better today. Not feeling so overwhelmed. Nothing has changed, Gary still has inoperable terminal lung cancer. The funny thing about that is it's not his lungs that will end his life it's his liver. His liver is 90% covered in cancer so it's kinda odd to call it lung cancer but that's where it started.

Dylan (my son) and I have been talking!! He knows what's going on we have talked about after. That's what we say, after. We don't say the words. He seems to be okay. I guess kids really are resilient? Dylan does NOT like to talk about things when his Dad is around. He says things like. "Shhh, here he comes." I have to remind him Dad knows he has cancer and he knows he's dying. Dad knows we have to make plans for us. I never in a million years thought I would be saying these things while he's so young.

Monday we need to do an MRI on his brain to see if it has went there also. I'm sure it has. I can see the changes. Mood swings, losing his balance and saying things like, "I don't care just get whatever I can't think," when I only asked would you like your bread toasted. Trying not to get my feelings hurt or get upset is a whole other story. I just say in my head, It's okay he's sick over and over and over.

The thing I'm finding the hardest right now is juggling my life!! I work as much as I can. So many doctors appointments. My house is dirty. My son is getting neglected. I should tell you he is 15 so not really. My dog stinks. But when I do have the time I'm exhausted!! I mean wiped out!! Pooped!! I am a very organized clean person!! Ha ha not anymore!!

I guess that's all for today. Time to get ready for work.

Thank you to everyone who sent kind words and encouragement--it really does help!! Chemo and radiation start not next week but the following week so keep us in prayer while we learn what that will be like.