Stillness

Il

Stillness

Il
Stillness n' Peace (View in full size) Stillness n' Peace (View in full size) (Photo credit: . Dileepan .)


Dad's dementia is progressing. Dad is yelling at the slightest thing. Dad's yelling is starting to scare me. Dad's yelling is re-traumatizing me. Dad's yelling is reminding me  of mortality. Dad's yelling is reminding me to set boundaries. I freeze. Mom sundowns. I don't do what I need. The reprogramming I started unravels.

Am I in stillness? Am I where I'm supposed to be?  Am I still? Am I at Peace?  Am I controlling things? Rest? Peace.

Always,

il

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Il

Guys another jar to my senses and help ... got news that my divorce should be final in the next few weeks. A ton of issues are coming up around that like self care in clearing out storage and not wanting to see my ex combined with the situation here. Wow, I'll post another blog. Thanks guys. How are you???\r\nil

Il

Docs for me or for Mom and Dad? I deal with depression and for Mom and Dad I have 'no rights' Richard. Docs that I've seen have said get out of there but that's not so easy given the circumstances. The docs by hearsay have said take care of Mom and Dad ( by default not taking care of myself ). Like EJ has said yelling is jarring to the senses. Thanks guys! il

ejourneys

Hi, Il -- I wonder if earplugs could help take the edge off. It's very tough to be in a place where so much is out of control. One can do only so much, but self-protection is one of those things.\r\n\r\nThere is no logic to the yelling, and I know detachment is hard especially for something that's so jarring to the senses. I wish you rest, and peace, for you are doing everything you can under the circumstances. (((Hugs)))