Stop Yelling at Me!

Roaring Mouse

Stop Yelling at Me!

Roaring Mouse
Please calm down. I'm doing everything I can.


My child's health is going down hill. In addition to hallucinations, zone-out moments, she now is coughing and yesterday she saw "lights with little white poufs".

Today we were supposed to see a psychiatrist to try to figure out what is happening.  I had to chase two doctors to pull this off.

In the background...

  • We got a new dog who has separation anxiety who in one month has gone from hating their crate to sleeping in it when I am home.  It has already escaped from two crates five times. The fifth time I used truck ties with a piece of PVC piping to lock it down -- which it worked but it pawed at metal on the inside so badly that it cut its paw so badly there was blood in the crate, on the floor and walls. I just need to get a piece of plastic and some screw to cover it and then I can leave it in the crate by itself. (He is worth it! He has already begun service dogging techniques and therapies with my child with no training. He is starting to wake her up, provides her emotional calm when she is overwhelmed or tired, and seems to be in warning and care mode when he knows she is having a hallucination/zone-out moment. I am very pro-actively pursing service dog training and financing for the dog.)

  • My child in the meantime refuses to take a shower for today and has her days/nights mixed up.  So she is usually up at 4 p.m. and asleep at 3 a.m. to 4 a.m. in morning. Today she woke up at 4 a.m. but as I write this (10 a.m.) she is back to sleep.  When asleep I am unable to wake her up.  I've tried pots/pans, alarms, radios, dog, pull off covers, pull her to floor, water, yelling, tickling, kisses, music and probably anything else you can think of.

  • Then there's my top of my left shoulder muscle group which is so badly messed up that I can't pull or lift more then a pound with it.  I am supposed to go to the doctor three times a week.  I only got the initial diagnosis last week via the gift of a stranger who stayed with my child.


In the foreground...

  • I have very actively spent the past month and even more so in the last two weeks calling agencies, churches and friends to get someone to come in the home for just a couple of days so I can get the plastic cover for the dog's crate, have someone pull out the washing machine so I can try to fix it and not replace it, have time to get some groceries like meat and bread, and though I'm pushing it, time to get to the doctor to get the shoulder fixed. Being able to go to the bank to deposit a check? I'll see if I can mail it in.


Here's what I've physically accomplished...

  • One organization had me send in an application for a grant that they are waiting to come through which would creatively give me some funds to put towards a new washing machine. (Paperwork completed and turned in!) They have also given me lots of referrals to get financial assistance. Not what I asked for but I appreciate it and am pursuing. A friend connected with another faith-based community arranged for some of her community to help and interviews have been set up.

  • One group has children's/teen's dances on Friday night and has allowed me to bring the dog (knowing the circumstances) and has only asked that I hurry up and get its service dog attire. Ordered -- should arrive in two days!

  • A groomer has stepped forward to watch the dog for a few hours in their shop.


Verbally accomplished...

  • "We'll pray for you!"

  • "Who cares if the dog cuts its paw and there's blood all over, get them to the doctor!"

  • "We'll pray for you!"

  • "No I'm not going because you are lying and there's no doctor appointment today!"

  • "We'll pray for you!"

  • "You don't understand!  You need to get them to the doctor!"

  • "Okay...well let us know when you decide to return to life."

  • "Why don't you call around for help? You obviously haven't done much! Try...."

  • "Well pray on it and it will make it better."

  • "Just lift them out of bed!  Seriously?!  You are just not trying hard enough to wake them up!"

  • "If you got a job then this wouldn't be a problem."

  • "I don't care that you can't wake your child up now, we require 24 hours advance notice of cancellation regardless of when your child sleeps."

  • "We will pray for you!"

  • "You are supposed to take care of yourself and get to the doctor.  You must be looking for excuses not to go.  Your child is being selfish and you are not disciplining them harshly enough."

  • "We will pray for you!"

  • "(Silence.)" After telling a children's ministry that I help my child's health is getting worse they intensely suggested that I step down from helping as I don't understand the importance of showing up and helping out.  Something I did faithfully without ever missing an event or an emergency need.


Internally/Emotionally/Realistically...

  • The appointment was cancelled as the child refused to comply, went back to sleep, has accused me of lying about the appointment, won't participate in any manner and I have no person to help me.

  • I just want people to stop talking down to me as if I don't understand, yelling at me because they think I can't hear, and throwing words at me that, while meant well, at this point have zero affect on helping the situation.

  • What I need is a human body for just a couple of days so I can do a few things I need to do to leverage myself better so I -don't- have to ask for anyone's help.


Please! Stop yelling at me! That doesn't help me. I already know what I need to do. Why aren't you listening?

Stop yelling....

The RoaringMouse

(Where's Spike? :sob:)