Support System Failure


Support System Failure

pieces-of-the-puzzle-592798_640Or, Houston, we have a problem.

The episode with my daughter's graduation is only the most recent scheduling conflict between my being Grandma's live-in caregiver and Dad's go-to person for help with Mom. It wouldn't be an issue were I not already on duty 24/7  for Grandma. But I have not yet learned the secret of bi-location,  can only "clone" certain house plants, not myself, and I'm fairly sure no long lost twin is out there waiting to be discovered.

I feel awful for my parents, especially Dad. I truly wish I could be in two places at once, that I could be of more help. But I am in an untenable position myself now. And nobody here seems to get it, except for my husband.

I have NO support system of my own to fall back on when I am ill or have something I absolutely have to get done. The few friends Grandma has left are old, frail, and helpless themselves. They can't step in -- a couple have broadly hinted that they'd like to borrow me!

But I am apparently Dad's support system, his only one. And the pressure of that is really starting to get to me. He knows this, all of it. I've told him, quite clearly. It doesn't seem to be sinking in.

God help all these people if I should get seriously ill or get hurt in a car wreck. What would happen then? It doesn't bear thinking about.

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Talk about pressure! It's a ton of pressure not only to make sure everyone's okay but to make sure you're available to support your dad. Caregiving can create such a insidious circle. You feel the stress because of caregiving and then you worry about the stress of caregiving on your health and then you worry about what will happen if something happens to you because of the impact of caregiving stress on your health. You can't win.\r\n\r\nI hope your good health continues and lasts so far into your future that you enjoy every moment.


That is certainly alot of pressure on you. Caregiving is such a heavy load and responsibility; you're thinking and responsible for three people instead of just yourself. Three heads! Yikes! Anyone would get anxious about that. For your sake and your your family's sake, I wish you good health and safety in all your travels!


Hang in there - I know it is frustrating and overwhelming. Know that you aren't alone. Are there any community outreaches in your area that might be able to help? It is scary thinking about what might happen to our loved ones if something happened to us. I pray about this myself!


I have no one to depend on when I am sick myself. My wife is not able to with her conditions. my family is about 5 hours out. Mom and Dad are getting up there and it's hard for them to travel as easy. I am right there with you.


I don't have a backup plan either. If something serious were to happen, I suppose siblings would have to spring into action..... \r\n\r\nLike you, this was a big worry for me. I would think about it *all* the time! Then I started to let the worry go.... Matthew 6:34 brings me comfort:\r\n Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.