Survey Says: You're Not a Caregiver Anymore. You're the Patron Saint of Poop.

MissAngie

Survey Says: You're Not a Caregiver Anymore. You're the Patron Saint of Poop.

MissAngie
After being a caregiver in my home  for over 20 years I know that I have earned the title of caregiver. I don't care if you've been a caregiver  two weeks or 20 years. Anyone who has cared for a parent, spouse, child or friend is a caregiver. One really doesn't know what that entails until they have gone through it.

Now that mom is finally in Shady Pines (not the actual care home name) I am not totally off the care giving hook. The facility she is in constantly complains that my mom poops too much. Really? How can I control that? They say she is too hard to clean because she stiffens up when they bathe her. They ask me to purchase extra diapers because she poops more than the other residents. Two of the caregivers don't speak English very well but they know how to say "poops too much" and "bring more supplies." This has been going on since my hubby paid to place her there last December. She had a seizure one day and instead of calling 911 they called me and asked me should they call 911. Really? They are very attentive and Mom never smells and they have her out of bed most days but it is now a love-hate relationship. I love that she is no longer in my house, but I hate being complained to every time we visit. Dammit Jim, I am not the patron saint of Poop. (In  my Bones from Star Trek Voice.)

One day while I was pondering if I should bring her back home, the phone rang. It was the local Hospice service that had taken Mom off of Hospice a few months ago. They said they were doing a survey of caregivers that had received a respite grant last year. They asked me a series of questions and just as we were about to wrap up the phone call, the interviewer asked. "Oh is your mom still living with you?" I said no. She said, "Oh I should ave asked you that first, because now all of the other questions are obsolete since YOU are NO LONGER A CAREGIVER." What?? I couldn't believe she said that. I flipped the script and  asked her if she ever had been a caregiver. She said no, I asked her had she been called at odd hours of the night by a CNA to come to a care home to calm a friend or relative down? I asked her had she missed work to resolve prescription mix-ups? Had she had to dip into her and her husband's savings to pay $3,000 a month fora a care home? By the time I was finished she said I accept your answers and I agree you are still a caregiver.

This conversation is why so many law makers from both parties are out of touch with real America. If you don't fit into what a survey says you are, your needs don't matter. As of this writing I am still figuring out h0w to continue paying for my mom's care and how to find alternative ways for humans to expel waste from their system.