"Take a Taxi"


"Take a Taxi"

taxi-996164_640A few weeks ago, my mom had an afternoon doctor's appointment during a time I had a work conflict.

She decided to call Sibling and ask her for a ride.

A few days before the appointment, my mom reached out to Sibling, who lives five minutes from my parents. My mom asked if Sibling could take her the doctor, about 20 minutes away. In all, Sibling would need to schedule about an hour of her time to help my mom. My mom has not asked Sibling for any help since August. Since August, Sibling's only help involved hanging decorations on my parents' Christmas tree and then removing those 30 or so ornaments.

After hearing my mom's request, Sibling hemmed and hawed. "We have a car problem," she told my mom. My sister, who works out of her house, shares a car with her daughter, who walks about three blocks to babysit every day. Neither my sister or my niece drive to work so it sounds to me that they have an idle car sitting in the driveway ready to use.

After explaining the "car problem," Sibling said to my mom, "You always can take a taxi."


The conversation ended with Sibling telling my mom she would work on the "car problem" and call my mom back.

Sibling did call back the next day but my mom let her call go to voice mail. "I can't explain what her tone was like when we spoke," my mom said, "but it wasn't nice."

In her voice mail message, Sibling said that she couldn't drive my mom because of a deadline for a client. The "car problem" became a "deadline problem."

I haven't spoken to Sibling since September, when I saw her for as few minutes as possible during my mom's rehab stay at the nursing home. When my dad talks to me about Sibling, he says, "I never want to see that woman again." In January, my sister and I agreed we don't need to invite Sibling to future family functions.

It's all so odd. We had every reason in the world to be angry and upset with Sibling. And, yet, we continued to include her in family events and family discussions. Sibling, however, cannot give an accurate and reasonable explanation of why she chooses to freeze out her siblings and her parents.

My mom, though, is now more pragmatic about Sibling. We have another family meeting coming up and my parents both agree that Sibling won't be invited. The elimination of that drama provides a huge sense of relief to me.

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Oh Denise it never stops. My Sibling did much the same way for over 50 years. I wish it didn't bother me so much after about 25 years but it always did right up to the very end of my mom's life. I wish you better than what I got.