ice-cream-sundae-167570_640We often fight the tears. We don't want others to see us in our most vulnerable state. We don't want others to pity us.

And, yet, often times our path to healing starts with our sobs.

The tricky part is crying to heal while not tearing into a pity party. While we don't want others' pity, we do often love to throw ourselves a pity party.

We can enjoy pity parties so much that we become an expert pity party planner. We know which tub of ice cream lasts the longest, we remember to ignore the phone calls, we skip right past the daily shower, and we wear, well, whatever.

While our pity party feels so good in the short term it keeps us from life in the long term. During a pity party, we go through the motions of our day while our heart and soul sit on the couch, remote in hand. Click, click, click. But the clock continues to tick, tick, tick. When our pity party ends, we realize life has passed us by. We're out of touch, behind the times, a shadow of ourselves. We let life slip through our fingers.

At some point, the pity party that felt so good now feels something like a self-imposed punishment. But you are not here on this earth to be punished.

Cry. You have so many reasons to cry.

And, then wipe your tears. While life has changed, you still have a life to live. You want to live every moment because you never know what the next moment will give. You want to be right there, ready to receive.

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Oh, I had the BIGGEST pity party Tuesday night! I invited every family member and friend. I was the live entertainment, as I wrung my hands and apologized for my blubbering. The emotions were like the best roller coaster in the universe. I went flying high into the air, spun around in the 360 turn, plummeted hundreds of feet toward the ground screaming my lungs out and closing my eyes to the impending doom. The tears flowed like Dom Perignon on New Year's Eve. Man, can I throw a party, or what??? Now I am in clean up mode. I am back to life in the real world, picking up pieces of confetti, and washing the champagne glasses. Next time I throw one of these parties, maybe I should limit the guest list to a few close friends.

Lillie Fuller

i'm done with this party, i just wish the tears would stop.