Tell Us: Have You Unfriended?

Denise

Tell Us: Have You Unfriended?

Denise
thumb-440352_640This morning, I happened onto Facebook. I don't spend a lot of time on Facebook because it feels a little too self-involved to me. People really love to talk about themselves.

But, hop onto Facebook I did as soon as I poured my first cup of coffee. And, then I immediately regretted it. Sibling and her husband posted photos of their terrific day yesterday, which began with a bike ride and ended with a delightful dinner along Lake Michigan. It was a beautiful day yesterday.

Usually, photos and stories of someone else's great day don't bother me. But, as Sibling and her spouse rode their bikes, and relished the gorgeous weather and relaxed along the lake, I was moving our parents. I got up early to do last minute-packing before the movers arrived; made sure my sister, brother and sister-in-law had coffee and a coffeecake to enjoy while we worked; answered thousands of questions from the movers and my siblings about what to take, where to put that and then this, and how to get that to fit into this.

At these moments, I'm tempted to comment on a photo shared by Sibling or her husband which sounds something like this:

"Looks like you two had a fantastic day! I guess you were having too much fun to call and check on Mom and Dad, who moved into independent living yesterday. It also seems like you were too involved in yourselves to offer to help. But, no worries! I did it--I got your parents moved and settled. Enjoy the rest of the weekend!!"

The temptation is so great to leave such a comment that I think I need to unfriend my sibling and her spouse.

Which makes me wonder: Have you unfriended a family member or friend because of their insensitivity to your caregiving responsibilities? Or because you couldn't stand to see their shallow posts while you're doing all the heavy lifting?

Tell us in our comments section, below.

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11 Comments

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Chris

You can unfollow people without unfriending them if you don't want them to question why you unfriended them. I've done that and saves me sanity and keeps the peace.

Jean

Yep, my one sister and BIL. If I knew then that I could just take them off my feed so I don't see their post, I would have done that. It was because of their religious and political posts were so upsetting to me. I mainly go on to see pictures of my grandkids and nieces and nephews. I eliminate unnecessary drama from my feed.

MovieGoer

Denise, do you think your sister did that intentionally to poke at you? I'm wondering if that could have been possible. If so, it's WAY past time to disconnect, I think. I'm so sorry she did that.

EllysGdaughter

Definitely an Unfriend situation - there is nothing you need to see about their lives. You are already aware of their lack of family commitment (did I really say that?)!! Yes, there are family members who have been unfriended or posts deleted because I couldn't handle the emotional consequences. Facebook is for my entertainment, they won't notice if they don't see anymore of my posts, if they do they can be told the truth.

Sharon

Believe me, I know the feeling. I have come to the conclusion that my sibling is the one who has to live with his decisions. He has every right to make whatever decisions he wants to make. I do not have to respond. I have stopped responding and resenting and it feels good. I do what I do now out of my own feeling of responsibility and care for my Mom. I own it. I, too, have choices and caring for Mom here in my home is the choice I have made. Having a sibling help would be nice, but it is not his choice. I am happy with my choice, although it can be challenging.

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