Tell Us: How Do We Be of Service Without Being a Servant?


Tell Us: How Do We Be of Service Without Being a Servant?

playing-cards-167049_640Since launching in 1996, I've worked various full-time and part-time jobs. When I don't work, suffers from my financial strain. And, then I suffer even more.

About 2 1/2 years ago, I began babysitting for a now 8-year-old boy and his now 6-year-old sister. I work various hours each week depending on the travel schedule of their mom, a corporate trainer. She and I both need flexibility -- she needs a babysitter who doesn't need a guaranteed 40-hour week. I need a client who gives me the flexibility to work when I can. (I don't work when I have a speaking engagement or my parents' have a doctor's appointment or other heath-related commitment.) Some weeks, I may work 40-plus hours; others, just 12 or so. When I do work, the days are long. I'm up at 5 a.m., out of the door at 6 a.m. and back home after 7 p.m. While the kids are in school, I run errands for the parents and then work on my business. They pay me for the full day, even for the hours when I work for myself while the kids are in school -- an awesome arrangement we agreed to from the beginning.

Yesterday afternoon, the boy had soccer practice which meant the girl and I played in the park. "Come on, Denise," she said. "Let's play that game we play. Let's play Queen and Servant where I'm the queen and you're the servant doing anything I ask you to."  (Just a reminder: This little girl also coaxed me into the pool last year which inspired into my $100 summer vacation.)

As I walked to take my position on the playground, I mumbled, "This isn't just a game. It's my life."

How do we be of service, I wonder, without becoming a servant?

We are individuals who value service to others, making us invaluable in our society, our communities and our families. Being of service means we have empathy and compassion. We understand another's pain and do what we can to lessen the pain. Being of service means we can do and be in ways others simply can't imagine.

In our service to others, though, we encounter others who take advantage of our service, who may ask too much, too often. But, we're service-minded. How do we step back during our service to remain of service but not a servant? And, how do stay of service and stay well?

What do you think?

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I'm finding being a service minded person is complicated and requires many skills.\r\n A service minded individual must develop healthy boundries, discernment, time management, organization, willingness to learn & grow. It involves finding a delicate balance between service and doing whats best for yourself. A service minded person must include serviceing themselves.


This is an important topic. When I was a paid hospice caregiver it was a real problem. The thing I most disliked, and had to deal with constantly, was my client's relatives wanting to \"borrow\" me for housecleaning, serving at a dinner party, and so on. Like I was in fact a personal servant or lady's maid they could make use of on occasion. They'd get so offended when I'd speak up for myself, and tell them \"No.\" The nerve of me!!


I mumbled, “This isn’t just a game. It’s my life.” ---- I truly laughed out loud and oh good that is after a long week.\r\n\r\nDenise, I could *never* do everything you. You have so much talent (writing and creativity) and so much energy. You have helped so many of us enormously! I can't stress this enough. I don't think I could do face-to-face support group right now -- being this is a small town... and the time constraints.... Your site is truly a Godsend. Thank you!!!


I try very hard-and sometimes it is so hard!- to remember that \"the One whom you are actually serving is the Lord Christ\".\r\nBut our lord does not require that we run ourselves into the ground, or make ourselves ill with exhaustion. Even He took time out, to be alone, and pray, and Even He needed \"alone time\", and did not apologize for it! When I look at it in that light, \"down time\" becomes a necessary grace, and one I very much need.\r\nAnd to those who would take unfair advantage of me, well, \"sorry, I have prior commitments.\" What those commitments are is none of their business.


just being there is a service. Glad I finally joined your group.\n