Tell Us: How Do You Cope with Unsolicited Advice?


Tell Us: How Do You Cope with Unsolicited Advice?

stadium-165406_640We all get it.

The Buttinski who tells us what to do, how to do it, when to do it.

It's aggravating and infuriating and demoralizing.

Because if they did what we do, they would stop the criticizing and begin the thanking. If they could do what we do, they would understand how hard what we do is. They would then see the insensitivity of their comments. They would simply be grateful for what we do.

But, they don't do what we do. So, they can't understand.

So, I'd love to know: How do you cope with unsolicited advice? What's your favorite comeback?

Share how you cope in our comments section, below.

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I consider myself pretty fortunate in that I haven't had too many people approach me in a Buttunski sort of way; the advice and suggestions I've received have been so very respectful, thankfully. People will usually ask first if it would be alright if they could make a suggestion or share something that they did before and/or are currently doing that has worked for them.


After dealing with my husband's health issues for 15 years - and his disability for 10 years - I actually get very little unsolicited advice. Most people know better. But of those who do try and give advice - I usually tell them (in some way) - I've been doing this far longer than they could deal with it and when they've got these years under their belt, come back and see me. Yes, I can be rude about it. It's the armor that I have built around myself to avoid being hurt - and basically protect myself from ignorance.


Like Mar and Desiree, I usually say something similar...\"thanks for the suggestion\" or \"we'll considered that, thanks for carving\".\r\nI strive to turn the other cheek and pick my fights wisely (asking myself if its worth it).\r\nIve thought about inviting a \"Buttinski\" to walk a day in our shoes, but that could be disastrous, if you think about it!


Usually I smile and say, Thanks for the suggestion! Or, Thanks for your kind concern, something like that. If I'm having a bad day and the advice is tendered in a particularly bossy way, I'm likely to remain silent while giving my best \"did you really just go there?!\" look.

Anthony Zullo

I take it in stirde and try to make the best decisions for us.