Tell Us: How Do You Manage Your Caree's Money When Spending Money Helps You?

Denise

Tell Us: How Do You Manage Your Caree's Money When Spending Money Helps You?

Denise
cash-register-78741_640We had an interesting conversation in our chat room the other night.

One of our members shared how overwhelmed and burnt-out she feels. We did our best to come up with ideas to help as well as share words of encouragement. Her caree won't accept outside help and she also won't spend money to hire outside help. Her caree has dementia but her awareness around money is keen.

What an awful dilemma. Money is available to spend on care, but the caree doesn't want to spend money on care so the family caregiver can't get a break from caregiving. It's a true recipe for disaster.

The ethics of the situation really struck me. The family caregiver holds durable power of attorney. Do you spend a caree's money on care? Certainly, hiring help improves care but could you do that without your caree's consent? Could you do that behind a caree's back, so to speak?

Siblings add another dimension. How do you communicate decisions about spending money on care with siblings without launching WW III? Spending your caree's money means dipping into your siblings' inheritance. You hope siblings will support a decision to improve care but when some see a hand in the cash register, they may do what they can to protect what they believe to be theirs, even before it is theirs.

I'm curious what you think about this situation. How have you handled a similar situation? Have you involved an objective  third party, like a geriatric care manager, trust officer or elderlaw attorney? What have you learned from your situation that can add insight into this situation?

Share your thoughts in our comments section, below.

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