Tell Us: Is It Okay to Pass on Fun?


Tell Us: Is It Okay to Pass on Fun?

casino-157595_640Scott cares for his wife, Beth.

He does what he can to make time for himself, to take breaks as he can. The past few months, though, have been particularly tough. He feels like he's fighting a battle just to maintain the status quo, to keep Beth out of the hospital, to help her regain her strength. He feels for Beth, who tries so hard to stay positive but really struggles to keep her smile.

Scott's buddies continue to invite him to the monthly poker game, a commitment Scott has long done his best to keep. He usually enjoys the focus on the game, the food and the banter. The poker game is simply fun.

This month, as the poker game approaches, he finds himself dreading it. He knows it's good to go out and enjoy himself but, right now, the idea of having fun, as Beth suffers so, seems insensitive.

His buddies, who support and care for Scott, call regularly to ensure he will attend the next poker game. They sense his hesitancy and worry about him if he doesn't take a break.

Scott appreciates their concern. He also just can't bring himself to confirm he'll make it. He can't get this thought out of his head, "How in the world can I have fun when I know that Beth feels such distress?"

If you were Scott, what would you do?

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Prefacing this with the knowledge that this is only a once a month commitment, I think I would try to see this through Beth's eyes. What would his decision mean to her. Since this is something he has done before and she knows it is something he looks forward to and enjoys, I suspect she might feel worse if he stays home. Yes, she puts on a brave face, but I can't help think that if he stays home it may increase her feelings of being a burden, being too much for him to take care of and make it even more difficult for her to smile. If the shoe was on the other foot, wouldn't he say to the person he loves: \"Please, go out and take a break, I'll be alright and you will back in a few hours.\" Sometimes it is the little pieces of normal that let us go on. Both of us.