Tell Us: What Do You Force?


Tell Us: What Do You Force?

Helping my mom put away groceries has become an eye-opening experience. Her cabinets are very organized; you can easily find what you need. All is organized by a caring hand.

But then I watch my mom re-fill the napkin holder. She'll grab a large stack of napkins and then shove, shove, shove the stack into the holder until they somehow fit. The first person to take a napkin is in for a fight. As the first person on a regular basis, I've learned to gingerly remove the napkin stack, take one, cull the pack and then replace.

Watching the forcing of the napkins helped me understand how my mom will often force relationships. If she gave relationships more room, they'd have more room to develop and grow. More importantly, if she could loosen her grip--let go--she would know the relationship remains. If she could trust herself (and trust she will be loved), then she could trust the relationship.

I resemble my mom, so when I can gain an insight about her and I look to myself. What do I force in life?

I found my answer this weekend.

I love to read. And, typically, I will read the first few chapters of a book, then read the last few pages. I can't wait. If I don't know the ending, then I'm restless during the read. I can't enjoy the book unless I know how it ends.

This weekend, I was almost half-way through a book when I realized I had yet to read its end. I paged through to the last few pages. And, then I thought: I don't need to know the end. I'm enjoying the book just as it is. I continued reading the book just as it is meant to be read: from start to finish.

I often forced the future, tapping my foot when the future, in my mind, took too long to arrive. I wanted to know how life would unfold and I wanted to know right now.

Life moves at its own pace. When I enjoy its pace and believe in the arrival of future at the right time, I live a more engaged life. I enjoy today and let go of the impatience for tomorrow. I trust. Today is what we have; I can trust my future.

So, tell us: What do you force?