Tell Us: What's Intimidating About Caregiving?

Denise

Tell Us: What's Intimidating About Caregiving?

Denise
This topic has come up in our evening chats over the past week or so.

The declines can intimidate us and leave us wondering, Am I up to this? The health care professionals can intimidate us with jargon and immediacy of decisions that can leave us tongue-tied. The siblings can intimidate us with the back-seat driving questions.

What's intimidating about caregiving for you?

Share when you feel intimidated and how you cope in our comments section, below. And, if you've conquered a source of the intimidation tell us how you did it in our comments section.

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8 Comments

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What is so intimidating is the ALL DAY/EVERYDAY responsibility. The secure feelings of the daily routine might abruptly end and I'll be in grief trying to keep my head above water. The boundary issues that his suffering is HIS and I can't change that fact as much as I wish I could.

Goldie

What if I make a mistake?

Lark

Caregiving becomes intimidating when my husband has a decline. It takes awhile to know it is a true decline, usually a doctor's visit to check urine, etc. and the sorrowing that goes with another letting go. The adjustments to schedule, changing needs, concerns about my ability to keep up and the unknown all happen each time. I cope with this by using the caregiving chat where I get feedback and reassurance. I also talk with the home health nurse and my husband's doctor. It helps that I am beginning to know when a decline is happening. It has taken awhile but there is a pattern I can identify now. \r\nCoping with anticipatory sorrow is a biggie for me. Again, the caregiving chat rooms are invaluable. I have not learned how to catch myself before the sorrowing has become deep and is impacting all of my emotions. Sharing about it helps me. It is a part of this process and must be felt and released. I am working on it.\r\nIn every case I find sharing about what is going on with me in chats where I feel free to be me helps in ways I would not have imagined. Other people who are on the same journey or have been on that journey and will share their own experiences are a gift of great magnitude.

Luigi

Showing up in Public places pushing the Transport Chair on days your not mentally up for it, tired or just don't feel like it..... although it is necessary.... I show up and handle it like the pro I am. Intimidation now gives me a bigger chip on my shoulder and endurance.

frogger16

well meaning family that haven't been involved with 24/7 care for my hubby for several years, are now around cause oh my recent accident...all their questions of medication decisions;, whether right diagnosis were upsetting to me.... trying to explain things to them was robbing me of energy I need to heal. It also brought doubts I didn't need right now. In talking this out with a friend who \"gets it\", i started responding different....Now i ask the person if they read the updates I've provided over the last few years & checked out the disease website link I provided to them, for understanding of DH's disease. if they say they haven't had time, I respond \"after you do that, then we can talk\"..\r\n\r\nThe other thing is when a friend visits and says as they leave, that DH seems like he's doing good...not not so bad off as they thought. Of course DH is always puts out his best during these type of visits. Kinda crazy making to me cause they aren't seeing DH at his worst & often feels like an implied \"we dont have it so bad\"