Tell Us: What's the Worst Advice You've Received?


Tell Us: What's the Worst Advice You've Received?

hammer-719066_640More and more, I find myself trying to navigate the fine line between my parents' independence and my parents' unrealistic expectations. Over the past few weeks, they've spoken of taking trips--driving trips!

So, I've been intervening with the gavel of reality, with reason throwing the book at their plans. About a week ago, I spoke with a colleague about this new terrain and how frustrating it can be to hear my parents talk of driving for five hours when I know they can't stay awake for such an extended drive.

"Oh, just let them go," my colleague said. "If they want to drive, just let them."


I can't let my parents endanger themselves and others on the road. That's not even up for debate. It's not about whether or not they can drive, but how do I get them safely where they want to go.

To me, the advice, "just let them get in the car and drive wherever they want to do," is the worst advice I've received recently.

What about for you?

What's the worst advice you've received?

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\"Well, if your aunt doesn't want to go to the lawyer to set up her will, and she refuses to put her son with debilitating chronic mental illness into an adult home, don't push her and don't stress about it--it'll all work itself out.\" WRONG! My 88-year-old aunt died a month ago and it's been incredibly hard having to sort through her papers, deal with her filthy, vermin-ridden house (she's hoarder), find a place for her 64-year-old son to live, petition the court to be his temporary guardian, pay for their lawyers, pay her mortgage, etc., etc., etc. All this while working full-time AND taking care of my 89-year-old mother and planning repairs on her 89-year-old house. Plus, I have to manage my mom's cat's vet visits.


\"As bad as it is now, it's so much worse when they're gone. \" One of my many useless relatives offered that gem when I confided my distress one day. I don't talk to her much anymore.


Worse advise that I got was from an Agency (A Home For Mom) that called me right before my husband was to be discharged from the hospital because the Insurance Company thought he wasn't progressing as fast as they thought he should be and refused to pay for anymore care. This lady told me that the best thing that I could do for my husband and my marriage was to put him in a nursing home like she had done with her husband so that I could go on living my life.