Tell Us: What's the Worst Caregiving Emotion?


Tell Us: What's the Worst Caregiving Emotion?

man-164962_640Caregiving is an emotional experience. Sure, tasks and responsibilities are difficult. The true battle of your day lies in your heart and head, as you process how you feel about your day.

You wage war trying to beat your guilt, anger, worry, resentment, bitterness, jealousy, grief, despair, hopelessness and sadness.

I wonder: What's the worst emotion for you? What's the feeling that really makes the day difficult, that steals your hope, questions your faith, sends you down to your knees?

Please tell us which emotion is the worst for you and how you cope with it in our comments section, below.

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The most hated feeling that I fight is helplessness. My inability to fix my Mom, to take away her pain, to fix her body. The only thing I can do is pray and try to keep her as comfortable as possible.


I think being new to all of this, I have all of these emotions. Anger; I'm the only one taking care of granny, my son and the house when I'm not even related by blood. Guilt; after I get angry I feel like I know there is a greater reason for me to be put in this position and know that if I can just keep my head together I know I can take good care of her regardless of my relationship, and I know so many people have it worse than I do. Selfishness; sometimes I just want to be able to out to the store or lay by the pool and relax. And sometimes its a mix of everything.


Wow, this is a tough one. I would have to say sadness is my most difficult is the pivotal emotion that swings me to resentment for my situation or is catapulted from the grief............the grief that I will lose my mother and I lose more of her is a progression................I am often sad everyday and all day long. Many days she thinks I am her cousin. She remembers her favorite clothes, certain people, her church, but she doesn't recognize the house she has lived in for 48 years. It is a daily sadness from loss. Each day it is a loss of something. I am sad because my friends and family don't understand what I am doing or why. They want me to put her in a nursing home. They don't call or visit. Putting her in a nursing home is equal to throwing her away in my opinion. Is that what we do with people? We throw people with disabilities away? I accept it as a stage in my life. It is not forever and I will look back on these years and have no regrets. The sadness turns to resentment as my Moms other children go on about their business as if she doesn't exist anymore. In their book, she is as good as dead and gone. I am sad because I can not just go and do what I want to do when I want to do it. I have to make sure someone is here to keep her company or I have to help her get through activities of daily living. I have to do mine and hers. I do have two good friends that I can share my feelings of sadness with and they understand and remind me that it is not forever. They make me laugh and we can set up a date in the future to go to the movies or something. There is no demand that it is them or Mom. The loss of a connection with my Mom also makes me sad. Communication doesn't flow as smoothly as it once did. It is difficult to do social outings like concerts and getting our hair done. I am the parent now.


The inability to control things is the worst for me. My mom is getting worse and no matter how much more things I do, how many more services I get for her, how many times I take her to the hospital she still keeps progressing. Right now she is in the icu, and in need of too many truly medical things and tests too often to even have 24 hour nursing be able to take care of her at home. I have always done everything I could to help her, to me she she has always been worth it. I was glad to be able to help her when I was 8, glad to still be able to help her earlier this year at 35, but now that there is nothing I can do with my hands to help her I am stuck making the medical decisions for her and fighting for her to get them.\r\n\r\nThere are so many emotions that go along with the lack of control; anger, frustration, sadness, failure, second guessing, and tons more. But truly the reason for me feeling all of those right now is that I am losing the ability to have any control of things. I just have to sit back and be with her, next to her, holding her hand, giving her a hug and a kiss, informing her friends so they can come see her, and just letting her know how much I love her. I still have control of being able to tell her I love her every chance I get.


I would have to say impatience is the worst emotion for me because it leads right into anger. . . I don't want to be impatient with my Grandma or my husband or sons but sometimes I just want to get the \"work\" done and have fun time - I still have a bit of selfishness hanging around but just recognizing it helps me to relax and slow down to enjoy the moment :)

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