Tell Us: What's the Worst Suggestion You've Received?

Denise

Tell Us: What's the Worst Suggestion You've Received?

Denise
In caregiving, we can be surrounded by back-seat drivers. They tell us what to do, who to call, how to manage. And, they offer these suggestions without ever taking the wheel and navigated the obstacles and challenges we face on the road of caregiving.

I'd love to know: What the worst suggestion you've received?

What's the suggestion that made you roll your eyes, bite your tongue and think, "Really? Like that's going to work."

In our comments section, below, tell us the suggestion that a family member, doctor, health care professional, neighbor and co-worker may have offered that just made no sense. Share as many suggestions as you'd like.

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StormCat

\"It isn't her, it's the illness talking.\" Really? Have YOU lived with her for 60 years? Were you a tiny child in her house? Um, yeah, all that's happened here is she is missing her filter. The sentiments expressed are definitely those of the speaker. \r\nRunner up is \"just go for a walk.\" ANd who's gonna pick her off the floor when I get back? 24/7 care is 24/7

Lark

A friend of mine was married to a guy who was her soul mate for sure. If you saw one, you saw the other. When he died the aggression and nasty comments_mysql from his children was horrible. They made her life a living hell until she moved away.

doan

or the ever so sweet, comment--\"don't get upset, its just because she's getting older\". Oh, yeah, she's been that way all my life. But now that we are mama and I are together 24/7, its so hard to take the negativity. And the well-meaning advisors couldn't take the emotional abuse I take even one day. Dont mean to sound bitter, just so tired.

Dalila

I want to scream every time I read an article that begins \"ask family members...\" There seems to be an assumption that all caregivers are part of a biological family in which one person is the designated caregiver (usually for a blood relative) and some of the other family members can \"treat\" that person every now and then to something as a \"thank you\". I am the childless only child of an only child and a woman who was estranged from her sister, who had one son with whom I have no relationship. I am the sole nonprofessional caregiver to my former domestic partner. I suppose we are still partners although we live separately. Once in a while a friend would do something but now those people have all died, moved, or are always traveling (or have caregiving burdens of their own). Neighbors are totally AWOL. I couldn't even get ONE of the people who work at home to commit to meeting my partner downstairs every Monday at a certain time to open the heavy front door for her. Now she is totally bedridden. Thank goodness for Medicaid (hear that, elected officials??) Now we have a whole care program of 24/7 aides, free transportation to appointments, and physical therapy in home. I mean I oversee and manage everything, just the way I did when I had a full time job, but it's doable. Anyhow, if you're writing about caregivers, don't assume that we all have relatives who are going to treat us to a deluxe birthday meal as a thank you for taking care of \"Mom\" all year. We don't.

Luigi

After my Moms longest hospitalization for renal failure and aspiration (55days) a Social Worker at the hospital suggested I hire an outside caregiving company to help me for a week when she got discharged, because the Social Worker did not think I could handle everything on my own. So I was cornered by the company in the hospital and was vulnerable and tired after spending everyday _15+hour days in the hospital with my Mom and signed on to a week contract for the extra help at home. Long story short. My Mom was scared of the help (so was I) and I fired them after two days because 3 of my Moms rings were stolen. The company told me I had to pay for the whole week because I signed a contract. I called my elder care attorney and we ended up only having to pay for the two days. I was able to handle my Mom anyway.... it was no different than after any of her previous hospitalizations.

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