My aunt's well-meaning neighbor, when I told him that we'd given her schizophrenic son $5 to get himself a sandwich, implied that I should have made him a hot meal. This while my aunt (who died a week later) was in the ICU, we were looking frantically through her hoarder house of horrors for any papers and health info relevant to her or her son (couldn't locate his anti-psychotic meds), answering inquiries from the hospital while trying to get them to give me permission to act as her health care proxy (she had none), AND take care of my 89-year-old mother with dementia.\r\n\r\nJust slackers, I guess.

Here's one of my favorites: we're at the ER (where else) and I get a text, from my husband's good friend, which reads (yes, in caps) YOU SHOULD LEAVE THAT HOSPITAL IMMEDIATELY. IT IS A BAD HOSPITAL!

Several people I know seem to feel the need to tell me that my husband (who has been diagnosed with dementia and depression) should keep a think positive , get out, see people and do things etc. Good advice but why do they keep telling me? Don't they think I have told him this time and time again?

Thanks everyone so much for your supportive comments_mysql. :) The \"should\" (which was unsolicited--she just said it) was awful but so was the follow-up thought that I was doing something wrong. A few days after this conversation with my colleague, I saw this quote from Joel Osteen:\r\n\r\n\"Sometimes you face difficulties not because you're doing something wrong but because you're doing something right.\"\r\n\r\nI found this really helpful to remember. :)

Denise, you are a celebrity with a devoted fan base. :-) When one of my grant-funded adult education jobs ended and I was worried what to do next, SO many people said, \"You should get a job in a public school with provisional certification.\" I have great love and admiration for teachers in general, but it's not for me. I say this about myself all the time. Groups of kids make me nervous, and I don't do discipline, except very loosely with my own child. But why did I have to keep explaining that over and over to the same people? I've gotten some \"shoulds\" regarding my mom - \"Get her to learn Spanish because that prevents Alzheimer's\" or \"Make sure she gets plenty of exercise.\" Well, I'm sure those are good ideas in general, but just not very likely to happen here.