Tell Us: What's Your Worst Caregiving Moment?


Tell Us: What's Your Worst Caregiving Moment?

sorrow-1228329_640Just about a year ago, I had my worst caregiving moment -- my dad sobbing after the doctors and nurses wheeled my mom out of her hospital room because she began yet another internal bleed. In that moment, as I stood next to my dad who was overwhelmed with anguish,  thought: What do I do? Can I do this? Can I bear this?

I wonder: What's your worst caregiving moment so far? How did you feel? What did you fear? How did you keep going?

Share your stories in our comments section, below.

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Today was a low day for me. Had a class to prepare for my upcoming hip replacement surgery and my husband, who I think either has FTD or Vascular Degeneration, couldn't get himself to the class with me. He's been very detached from the process and not attended any appointments. It was hard being in class without a \"coach\" like the other patients. I had another surgery 8 years ago and he was a different person and very involved. On the other hand, better to face the realities of his limitations before I go in for surgery so that I can line up other resources to help. Next week we see his doctor and will discuss his latest vascular symptoms which indicate either further TIAs or vascular degeneration.


I'm so sorry for your loss of one so dear to you.\r\nSending prayers for comfort your way.


The worst for me was the day I lost track of what I was doing. I went to quick grap something from the bathroom leaving my MIL on her bedside commode which was only to be a few seconds. I totally lost focus, distracted by something... and totally forgot she was on the commode... probably 5 minutes or so. She could only sit brief periods. At this point she was bedridden, couldn't stand nor speak as result of vascular dementia. I found her on back, head under the commode. After checking her limbs to see is she showed any pain, we (her son & I) tried to figure out how best to get her off the floor and back in bed. When we rolled her, she was bleeding profusely because her skin sheered off her tailbone area when she slide off the commode. She was not much more than a skeleton by that time. Both teary eyed, we didn't know what to do. As we straddle her, she reached up, ever so gently and put a hand on each of our shoulder, turned from side to slide and smiled at us as if to say, it's OK. That area never totally healed and was a constant battle. The guilt was overwhelming. Oh, how I wish I knew then, what I know now. We should have called an ambulance... I think we were so stressed by then we didn't even know we should have. We got her back into bed and waited until the nurse came a day later.

Jan Larsen-Fendt, RN, BSN

I think one of my worst caregiving moments was when I admonished my mother for being rude to a therapist. My mother (she had dementia) had just spent over a week in the hospital with an internal bleed. Because she had spent so much time in the hospital bed, she was quite weak and it was suggested that she go to rehab for a while. My father was her caregiver and he was actually wanted her to come home with him. He felt that he could take better care of her than they could in rehab.\r\n\r\nShe was transferred to a rehab facility (affiliated with a facility I used to work for) and fought it all the way. She had moments of being unpleasant or downright rude to her caregivers.....until she got to know them. On one occasion, one of the therapists that I knew came into the room and introduced herself to my mother. My mom did not make eye contact and just through her body language ignored the therapist. At one point she got so upset, she said something very rude to the therapist. To this day I can not remember what it was!\r\n\r\nHowever, I was mortified and scolded\" my mother for speaking like that. After the therapist left, my mother apologized and asked if I was mad at her. My heart just melted and we both had a good cry, although I'm not sure if my mom knew what she was crying about. I think it may have been just seeing me cry. I was exhausted after her week in the hospital and the daily trips to the rehab facility. I think that was one of my worst caregiving moments.


I cared for my grandparents that raised me till their death, my youngest son was a micro premi +1 lb 11 oz. So fast forward my son is now 10 ( fully disabled) my husband has had a massive stroke. I'm alone in this, with them. One day\r\nI wake up go to the bathroom & stagger in to make coffee. Why was it my worst? My cat blocked me from my coffee.!? I just started yelling \"I just fed you, WTF\". Well I just fed her cat litter. Its a cat ...big deal right? NO... Panic, panic... Did I not medicate my child, my husband. Shit did I give the wrong meds to the wrong person?!?! \r\nThis forced me to place my husband in a nursing home. Worst day, maybe the best. Crap my cats are better at saying \" youre doing to much \" than I am.\r\nThere have been many ugly days since then, But the terror I felt that day has been my worst.

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