Thankful for Store Bought Pumpkin Pie

KarenLavinia

Thankful for Store Bought Pumpkin Pie

KarenLavinia
I had a doctor's appointment today. I love my doctor's nurse. After the appointment, she asked me about my family and I told her about my mom moving in with me in June. She wanted to know more. I told her. I shared that mom is in congestive heart failure, hard of hearing, legally blind, and grieving for my dad. She was so empathetic. She came up with a half-dozen ideas and then said, "It must be hard to be with someone who is feeling so negative all the time."

I had to stop her there.

Yes, she has heart issues, as well as vision, and hearing, and grief. But negative? I guess that's an obvious conclusion to jump to. But no, my mom isn't negative. In fact, she is hands down, the most positive person I know. She always has been. Anyone who meets her, whether it's someone she's known for five minutes or 50 years, says the same thing. She doesn't have to try at it. She just is.

A few days ago, mom and I made a grocery list. We excitedly talked about what we needed to make the Thanksgiving meal.

Bread crumbs.
Bullion.
Potatoes.
Turkey.
Sage.
...and so on.

We went through each dish and discussed what we'd be making. Then we went to the grocery store and bought it all, before the crowds. Though some of it was still sitting on the counter this morning, for lack of space - we felt very accomplished. But then...

This morning I heard mom talking to my sister about the fact that we aren't having the traditional pumpkin pie. I stopped her and said, "What? Mom, we talked about this. You said the pumpkin cream pie sounded good." She said, "Well it does sound good. But I do like the traditional."

Well, naturally my Caregiver Guilt kicked in then! It said this, "Your poor mother. She's 89-years old. She wants a real pumpkin pie. Jeez, Karen - how could you not have done that for her?" Then it got bossy, "Get your A$ out to that store and then make her a doggone pie!"

But before I could travel too long on that road ( less than 60 seconds), mom piped up, "We must be grateful for everything we have. Those people in California who are living through those fires would love to have this problem - to worry about whether they got the right pie for Thanksgiving. They don't even have a roof over their heads. We are NOT going back for pumpkin pie!"

So no, negativity isn't something I have to deal with. I know many caregivers do. But for me and my caregiving life - it's something I'm grateful isn't on the list of concerns.

So, whatever your Thanksgiving looks like this year, I hope you find things to be grateful for. I know I will.

Happy Day of Thankfulness.

Love, Karen