Thankful for Store Bought Pumpkin Pie


Thankful for Store Bought Pumpkin Pie

I had a doctor's appointment today. I love my doctor's nurse. After the appointment, she asked me about my family and I told her about my mom moving in with me in June. She wanted to know more. I told her. I shared that mom is in congestive heart failure, hard of hearing, legally blind, and grieving for my dad. She was so empathetic. She came up with a half-dozen ideas and then said, "It must be hard to be with someone who is feeling so negative all the time."

I had to stop her there.

Yes, she has heart issues, as well as vision, and hearing, and grief. But negative? I guess that's an obvious conclusion to jump to. But no, my mom isn't negative. In fact, she is hands down, the most positive person I know. She always has been. Anyone who meets her, whether it's someone she's known for five minutes or 50 years, says the same thing. She doesn't have to try at it. She just is.

A few days ago, mom and I made a grocery list. We excitedly talked about what we needed to make the Thanksgiving meal.

Bread crumbs.
...and so on.

We went through each dish and discussed what we'd be making. Then we went to the grocery store and bought it all, before the crowds. Though some of it was still sitting on the counter this morning, for lack of space - we felt very accomplished. But then...

This morning I heard mom talking to my sister about the fact that we aren't having the traditional pumpkin pie. I stopped her and said, "What? Mom, we talked about this. You said the pumpkin cream pie sounded good." She said, "Well it does sound good. But I do like the traditional."

Well, naturally my Caregiver Guilt kicked in then! It said this, "Your poor mother. She's 89-years old. She wants a real pumpkin pie. Jeez, Karen - how could you not have done that for her?" Then it got bossy, "Get your A$ out to that store and then make her a doggone pie!"

But before I could travel too long on that road ( less than 60 seconds), mom piped up, "We must be grateful for everything we have. Those people in California who are living through those fires would love to have this problem - to worry about whether they got the right pie for Thanksgiving. They don't even have a roof over their heads. We are NOT going back for pumpkin pie!"

So no, negativity isn't something I have to deal with. I know many caregivers do. But for me and my caregiving life - it's something I'm grateful isn't on the list of concerns.

So, whatever your Thanksgiving looks like this year, I hope you find things to be grateful for. I know I will.

Happy Day of Thankfulness.

Love, Karen

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Epilogue: My daughter was at the grocery store and decided to buy grandma a name brand, amazing pumpkin pie. So, Mom would get her pie after all...or would she? My first clue should have been when my daughter walked into the kitchen on Thanksgiving morning and asked if there's usually pumpkin juice leaking out. But it didn't really dawn on me to check the pie right then. When it came time to serve the desserts, my granddaughter went around to each guest with her script, \"Would you like pumpkin cream pie, blueberry/cream cheese cookie bar, or REAL pumpkin pie.\" By the time she came back with the talley, I'd opened the pie and discovered the problem. Apparently, my daughter didn't know that THIS pie...needed to be baked! And ironically, since she thought it was already cooked, and then frozen, she'd left it in her car overnight because it was cold enough outside anyway. So, sorry mom... we tried. But the lesson holds firm: Be grateful for what you have, and yes, even for your problems. Somebody would love to have yours.\n\nHope you and yours had a fabulous Thanksgiving!