That Song

Lark

That Song

Lark
You know that song about "how can you mend a broken heart?" I am wondering how to tend to my broken heart these days. It is rare for me to be in a broken-hearted status for any length of time. In the past year, several people I truly loved have died and someone I truly love is dying tonight.

I live on the coast of North Carolina where Hurricane Florence devasted thousands of people. We, fortunately, had a small amount of damage. Many people lost everything from top to bottom and in between. There are numbers of people looking for somewhere to stay temporarily. They are literally begging for any kind of place to live temporarily. They have been forced from their homes as the water damage has one building after the other being condemned. Often they have 24 hours to go and no money and no place to go. I, as are the general population, am overwhelmed.

My husband has been in a long decline with the form of dementia he has and it is taking a toll on him. He is frustrated, angry and so tired of living this way. I have a difficult time with my patience lately and I am not proud of it. My heart has no idea how to handle watching him decline knowing there is no cure or hope for a remission.

You can see that my mind is full of painful moments lately. I am broken-hearted. I believe it is o.k. to be broken-hearted for a time but I do not like the feeling. I want to find a place to hide out and dig into a familiar level of denial. Denial is not going to happen. I have wonderful friends who keep my head in reality and support me on this journey with my husband. The one thing they do not do is participate in denial. Darn it!

I am looking for the day I gain another step up the ladder of acceptance. Currently, I am simply not making that step up and I need to make it. God is in charge. He knows what I really need and maybe he knows I need to learn to have a broken-heart without becoming broken. Well, I wrote long enough that I got part of my answer. Being broken-hearted does not mean that I am broken. It means I am a real, living, breathing human being with a big heart that cares deeply. Boy am I glad I wrote about this broken-heart. Thanks for listening, friends!

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Michelle

Lark, I understand your broken-heartedness and you are right, living with broken-heartedness without becoming broken is a lesson we have to learn and with God’ Help we will. Thanks for sharing and how are you doing physically? Better I hope. Hugs

CathyJ

Thanks for sharing Lark. This is such a powerful journey and you are absolutely right that it is okay to feel the broken heart. We also know that God and love will help us through it, even when we can't see a direction. Hugs and prayers.