Last night was the last night of the Powerful Tools for Caregivers class. We discussed the Family Meeting. Why they are important, what tools we have learned to help facilitate them and what they can accomplish. You can use them for asking for help, discussing living options, financial concerns, etc., not just "when do we need to think about an outside care facility" discussions.

It was brought out that the caree should be included in the conversation, as it can cause anger in them if they are "herded" into a decision they have to live with, but that it can be a slippery slope especially when dementia is involved. It was also noted that if you have a disagreeable family member (and family was described as wider than immediate children), you can ask for the help of a facilitator to keep the discussion on track.

Always make an agenda and let everyone know what will be discussed. It helps keep things on track and focused on the issue you want to have addressed.

Since it was the last meeting, we had some "paperwork time", so the actual class was shorter.

We were asked to do an action plan for a three- to six-month goal and to decide what action you will take on that goal this week. The action plans of deciding on something you want to do, what you will do to achieve that goal this week, when you will do it, how long you will do it, what the likelihood is that you will get it done ( from 1-10) and then evaluating that the following week was a very important tool that everyone hoped to continue doing each week. It makes us focus on OURSELVES and what WE want to accomplish. Whether it is taking in a movie, going out to dinner with friends, or just taking 30 minutes to read a book daily, they are all a necessary part of care giving.

If you are able to attend a Powerful Tools for Caregivers class, I would encourage you to do so, but the book can be purchased without attending a class, as well.

I found it to be very helpful. I signed up at a time that I was at my wit's end on what to do and now find myself on a more even track and taking care of myself much more mindfully.

For those just entering into this journey, hang on, it will be a wild ride, but remember that you have control of the wheel. Educate yourself on how to best navigate the waters. Learn from those who have done it successfully and happily. Always remember, if YOU do not take care of YOU, YOU can't take care of anyone else.