The Gospel According to Crosby, Stills and Nash


The Gospel According to Crosby, Stills and Nash

Do you ever wonder what kind of old person YOU will become?

I wonder about that all the time. I see myself sitting at my daughter's kitchen table in 20 years. That part is clear. But who will I be then? Are you the same as you were when you were younger, but only MORE of it, because you no longer have the control mechanisms working to contain and modify it? Like if you were irritated and crabby in your adult life, you'll be hell-on-wheels when you're old.

I've been emailing a new friend from this website. We've been talking about our personality traits and it's been fun. But it got me to thinking, my best traits are being self-reliant and dedicated. My shadow side is being withdrawn and serious. Will I turn into a content and gracious old lady, sitting at my kitchen table with placements full of crumbs from long-forgotten meals? Or will the independent part turn stubborn, and the withdrawn part make me even harder to reach? I'm the kind of person who wants no sympathy or interaction when I'm sick. Will I go off like a slug and hide under a rock where my kids can't find me?

I think about my mom and what she was like as an adult, compared to who she is now. Reading other blogs, I realize many of her "peccadilloes" are traits of dementia; many dementia patients exhibit them. In her working years, she functioned flawlessly in a doctor's office where being fastidious and accurate mattered. Now she is fidgety and plays an endless game of "hide the afikomen" and we aren't even Jewish. Everything gets wrapped up in a white napkin, kleenex or paper towel and hidden all over the house. Is that being More Mom, or just demented?

So what will I be like? What will YOU be like?

Don't you ever ask them why
If they told you, you would cry
So just look at them and sigh
And know they love you

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