The Guilt Fairy / Anniversaries

Il

The Guilt Fairy / Anniversaries

Il
Valentines Day Sunrise Love in the Clouds Natu... Valentines Day Sunrise Love in the Clouds Nature Image (Photo credit: Striking Photography by Bo Insogna)


I've read the What If Fairy and all the other blogs and I see so much in common between us that I feel less alone.

I feel guilty so much of the time: for blogging, for taking time for myself, for not going to a group I know is destructive for me, for saying I'm exhausted, for taking time for a chat. The list goes on.

All this compounds my battle with depression and which came first, the depression or caregiving.   Denise had a suggestion to document my day with my parents who are resistive carees (e.g. my dad is yelling at my Mom right now and all I want to do is bolt but this is my home, too.

This week is a week of celebration and of anniversaries.  My ex-husband's birthday is Sunday and I feel conflicted about  feeling celebratory in feeling relief about having closure and not having that conflict in my life right now. I love the chance to blog and feel successful in publishing, hoping that other bloggers are getting something out of this publish (feels good to say 'publish').

I dearly hope everyone has a good day!
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Il

:)

Il

Thank you so much. I want to look at that webinar when I have more time . . looks good :) Bingo: as far as trying to please everyone and not taking care of myself. For me having the definitive diagnoses is tough to look through a lens but I see day by day setting limits like a group that is not healthy for me I'm saying not for me guys next group that will help me. . . and therapy . . yowsa I'm freeflowing here . . . now the earplugs huh . . . nice! I'll see what happens!\r\nI've mentioned that I have a meeting in the computer room tonight at 5pm so I'll keep ya posted as far as if I'm hailed or if The What If Fairy says it's OK! May I type EJ or no? For the sake of my fingers.\r\n\r\nHugs\r\n\r\nIl

ejourneys

Hi, Il -- Denise did a terrific webinar not long ago on Moving From Sacrifice to Compromise: http://www.m40.siteground.biz/~caregiv6/caregiving-webinars/caregiving-webinar-archives/webinar-moving-from-sacrifice-to-compromise/\r\n\r\nYears ago I kept trying to please my partner and meet all her demands, only to be met with continual criticism from her. Frustration, guilt, and resentment were very high on my list! Then at some point (and with the help of two years of therapy) I changed my behavior and outlook. Finally getting a definitive diagnosis for her helped, too, because then I could view her behavior through the lens of her disorder. That meant that I took things a lot less personally. I also got better at setting limits. That defused her upset and let us work together much better.\r\n\r\nI wonder if wearing earplugs would help take the edge off your parents' yelling. We have foam earplugs from CVS with a noise reduction rate of 30 decibels. :-)\r\n\r\nI'm all for feeling celebratory, however we can! :D

Denise

Hi--Go with your feelings--release the judgment about that. When you feel relief, enjoy it. That's a good one to keep.\r\n\r\nWe've got lots of articles about guilt because it's one of those emotions many fight with. You can look them here: http://www.m40.siteground.biz/~caregiv6/tag/guilt/\r\n\r\nWhen you let go of the guilt, you'll feel much more in control of your day. And, when you feel in control, the day won't control you.

Chris

You aren't alone at all... I am not sure why we feel so free to care for others, yet feel guilty when it is time to care for ourselves. As <a href='http://www.m40.siteground.biz/~caregiv6/members/darciejane/' rel=\"nofollow\">@darciejane</a>, without taking care of yourself and becoming burnt out and resentful isn't good for anyone. Take joy in the small things, give yourself an emotional break, and keep smiling.

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