The Way It Is, Today


The Way It Is, Today

balloon-1046658_640Is this it, now is the end near

First unable to clear mucus from sinus

Then headaches non stop and not aspirin treatable

And a left eye that indicates there has been a stroke


No appetite, she isn’t eating

And bowel movements small hard balls

Finally no bowel movements

And she is eating a little bit


Her reasoning ability gone

I lead her; tell her what to do next

She sits or lays holding her temples

Her eyes are sunken and lost looking

In silent complaint


Now her bowels are blocked

Many, many prunes don’t work

A mild laxative breaks them loose

After fifteen hours – hard balls first

Then dribbles of diarrhea – and pain


Now her hands are blue

Her lower rectum area is painful

And it hurts just to sit on the toilet

I have diapered her, diarrhea dribbles from her


It’s been two weeks and she gets worse

The good final honeymoon times are over

We are now caregiver – care receiver for real

She is letting go, I am playing God

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Thinking of you.


Keeping you in my thoughts at this very difficult time.


Oh, Don! My heart goes out to you. Do you truly feel that you are \"playing God\"? As in, arbitrarily deciding whether or not someone- in this case, your beloved- lives or dies? \r\n\r\nFrom my own (admittedly far removed) point of view, a person in your position, doing the things that you are doing now, isn't playing God. But doing God's work, acting as His instrument of loving kindness and mercy. By doing everything in your power to surround your loved one with comfort and peace, at a time when it's so very needed.\r\n\r\nMy prayers are with you.


Hugs Daffy Don! <3