The Weight of Responsibility

Sharon

The Weight of Responsibility

Sharon
(Editor's Note: We welcome Sharon, who cares for her mom, to our blogging team today. You can connect with Sharon on her profile page: @srhall419.)

gym-546138_640Sometimes I feel the weight of being responsible for anticipating my Mom's every need is more than I can hold up on my shoulders. She will not even ask for a sweater if she feels chilly, I have to notice her hands drawn up into her shirt sleeves. I could understand if I ranted and raved every time she asked for something, but quite the opposite is true. What makes me want to rant and rave is her inability to speak up for herself when she needs something.

I am truly feeling the pressure of being with her 24/7 for the last year and a half. I have had three nights away from her since she moved in with us. I discuss if she would like a little vacation from us and she replies, "Well, if you think that is best, I will do it." Which, of course makes me feel like Brunhilda the Bossy.

I have finally decided that I am going to take her to daycare for four hours twice a week. We have an appointment tomorrow to see the doctor and have the paperwork completed. I am hoping I can let go of some of the resentment building up by giving us both a break from each other.

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Denise

I'm so glad you are moving forward with this! It's a change, which will require adjustment and tweaking. The break will be good for both of you. :)

Jen

Good luck to you. You certainly need and deserve the time to yourself to recharge. Don't feel bad about that.

MissAngie

Sharon I know how you feel. I protected my mom from my dad's anger when i was a young girl. I even talked her into getting a divorce and we moved to another city. She had a great 20 year career after her divorce.Now that she retired and has dementia she depends on me for everything.\r\n\r\nI think an adult daycare is a great idea. I hope it works for you. My mom is so dependent on me the daycare usually asks me to come get her early because she keeps asking where I am..

Hansolosgirl

It is so hard being in charge of somebody else to this extent. I'm right there too, you are not alone in the frustrations of the everyday, 24/7.

Mary

Sharon, my mother-in-law was the same way. Through prayer and counseling, we began to see that she considered herself a \"victim\" from early life-wounds. She never forgave and moved on but let bitterness and unforgivness become the norm - for decades. Her inability or unwillingness to make even the simplest decisions were her attempts to avoid having to do the hard work of forgiving and take any responsibility for anything in her life. This way, it could always be someone else's fault. She took it to ridiculous levels.\r\n\r\nGaining deeper insight into the reasons the people we care for do the annoying or even hurtful things they do can bring peace and allow us to serve with greater compassion and patience. Peace to you.

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