This Day

Lark

This Day

Lark
This day I find myself wandering from thought to thought as in a dream.
This day is the third day Robert has been in the nursing home for rehab.
This day is the second day I have recognized a progression that I cannot deny.
This day is the day I am wrestling with a grief I thought I knew and understood.
This day is the day I recognized that I know nothing of this grief and I
Though strong and brave cannot contend with the depth of it.
This day I will choose to spend time quietly with Robert and to allow myself
To rest in that time, in that place, following that still small voice who,
This day appears to me as a wise, small girl who takes my hand and leads
Me to spend time with Robert.
This day I know the voice of my Jesus and I love how He left the Holy Spirit here with us to take the form of a small child who leads me gently and quietly .
This day I remember that Jesus said to suffer the little children to come unto Him.
This day I do not feel the need to know why or what or how or anything outside
Of the sweetness of His presence.
This day the woman in me follows with a breaking heart, a humbled heart, a
Heart listening intently to each moment, holding her breath as each moment passes.
This day there is no sign of loss yet the loss is all around me and I do not know the day or time but I do know my Father’s voice and I know when He whispers and grants me the tenderness of a small child leading me that He is preparing my heart for the moment that will come and is nearer now than further then.
This day I rejoice in the love of a God who has redeemed a fullness in Robert and in me and in us that could only have been redeemed in this crucible of suffering.
This day I marvel at the love I have for Robert and I am grateful and will shout praises to my God and King for this love and it returned by Robert to me.
This day in the midst of a month of miracles I am living in one.
This day is mine to live and move and have my being in Him, in my Jesus, who
This day is the author of our redemption.

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6 Comments

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Michelle

So honest. So true. So sad. So beautiful!

jan

Thank you for sharing these deep and personal things from your temple, your personal church inside you.

Mary1072

Gentle hugs, Lark! That is beautiful. I celebrate the love in your heart and place a gentle shoulder of silent support beside you.