fractal-755899_640It's like you're doing the twist, anxious to get out and live your life. Well, really, you'd love to get to live a life, any one will do.

But the twists your day takes makes it feel like you must stay in this place, right here. You've got too much to do here, in this twist of fate called caregiving, to go out there.

The dance between life and death can be the worst twist you do, leaving your stomach in knots from the dizziness. One minute your caree feels okay, the next minute you almost see Death lurking around the corner.

It feels like life is over there. While you're over here.

The reality is that your caregiving role is life--it's the purest, most essential, most meaningful life.

That other life, the one with trips to the shopping mall, the turns at the restaurant, the twists on the open road, will wait for you. This life, this one which serves such a profound purpose, won't. It's okay that the other life waits while you serve this one.

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And what if this life is the one you serve forever? Forgive me, I have been caregiving for a chronic pain sufferer with very limited mobility for over seven years and I have not had a day to myself in that time. Not one day where I can just stop taking care of him. I am tired, I am so burnt out and today was a very bad day. His only illness is the pain, everything else is healthy and he is likely to live many decades more. How will I do this for many decades? I don't know if I have it in me. :(


As I travel each twist and turn \nThere are lessons I must learn\nAs I navigate each turn and twist\nIs there something I might have missed?\n

Lillie Fuller

and the picture shows me spiraling down, down, down! it's so true, that other life waits, i hope i find it after this life!