Under Water

Il

Under Water

Il
Ocean Sunset Ocean Sunset (Photo credit: BluegrassAnnie)


Today is a day I feel under water with caregiving and responsibilities are overwhelming. I'm doubting my ability to care for my parents, second guessing the intent of others, and feel like the waves of life are challenging me to rise up to meet them but I can't quite get there. Does this make sense?

Mom was wandering around the house on Monday because my dad was not here and I was post-acupuncture trying to 'get' her to bed. Dad was scared for her because the phone line was down and her lifeline does not work when the lines are down. Dad has now called the hospital to schedule knee surgery so my emotions are going haywire.

Don't know if I'm cut out to be a caregiver and would love to know I'm not alone (again ). Bless your hearts.  il

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darciejane

Agree with you @Bob, this is a great site for letting our frustrations and inadequacies all hang out! One can always find some inspiration to try and do better tomorrow.

Bob

Dear il: Please feel free to quote me--I'm honored. EJ is so right as far as I'm concerned. I'm definitely playing this by ear. Thank God Denise created a place that is full of warmth, openness, unconditional positive regard, resources, inspiration, fellowship, education; etc. Members continually co-create this incredible site making it the jewel that it is. I need to get back to blogging. I had a bad day today. I just felt like doing nothing. I balanced my check book so I did something. I took a nap. I talked to my wife who is my caree by phone. I did some reflecting. I re-read your blog and comments_mysql. ((((Hugs))) to you il, to EJ, and to Darcie Jane. Blessings...Bob

Il

EJ that made me cry good tears thank you.\r\nBob I want to quote you in my next blog hope you don't mind.\r\ndarcijaine thank you as well.\r\nHuh, pays to leave a blog up there!\r\n\r\n((((((((hugs ))))))) to you all . . . especially for the validation to keep blogging and 'speaking the unspeakable' and the it doesn't make us bad caregivers, just a caregiver.\r\nI feel like since I haven't gotten hold of alz.org or do whatever is suggested I'll be in trouble, but I know somewhere I've shown up and I'm doing the best I can. . \r\n\r\nSomewhere . . In the Rainbow . .next post!\r\n\r\nxxooxoo\r\nil

ejourneys

(((Hugs))) We are all playing this by ear. I had a full-fledged venting session on Monday (and some on Tuesday, too) and felt utterly overwhelmed. Right now I just want to live in a cave for a while. I think I can take some time on Thursday away from the house, because I need it.\r\n\r\nWe are all fit to be caregivers because we're here. We've shown up to do the hard work, even when that work makes us crazy (I've had my certifiable moments these past couple of days). I've lost count of the times I've simply wanted to run away from it all.\r\n\r\nThat doesn't make me a bad caregiver. It just makes me a caregiver. :-)

Bob

You are definitely not alone feeling your not cut out to be a care-giver. The challenges can often seem insurmountable. There are times I have wanted to give up. I found that I was not taking good enough care of myself and there for suffering from extreme compassion fatigue. I had to learn to set boundaries with my caree,take better care of my health, find the right therapist, pace myself, and even take a day off and sleep half the day as a treat. I'm handling things better now. I've learned a lot from our site here. We're all in it together and I don't believe there is any topic one can post that someone maybe a lot of us can't resonate to. When we let those things be said we feel are unspeakable, we become more integrated, whole, and healthier--an increased experience of well-being---especially to because of the support, understanding, empathy we receive and the gift you are giving to others.

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