Walk Like an Egyptian (Think Like the Demented)


Walk Like an Egyptian (Think Like the Demented)

What a conundrum that is! What do the demented think?

I watched my mother approach the plate of food set before her. It made sense to me: the silverware, the plate, the napkin, the drink in the glass, the three little separate mounds of food, a protein, a starch, a vegetable (we adhered to the old Food Pyramids). Use the silverware to eat the food on the plate, drink from the glass, wipe your face with the napkin.

Suppose you were from another culture besides American, or maybe another planet. What signals would you have to tell you what to do? Obviously you use the knife to cut the napkin. You pour the liquid in the glass on top of the food on the plate. You spread potato salad on a hot dog bun and cut the bun into bite-size pieces (minus the hotdog). You spread nicely pureed applesauce on an egg salad sandwich. You mash the entire thing up like a pile of Beet-Loaf, and scrape it into the garbage pail when you remember where that is.

What are the clues, the cues, really? There are none, except for tradition, experience. And if that memory is gone away, you have to make it up yourself.

How does a person dress? What clothes go on the bottom, or the top, or the inside or the out? Is this an armhole or a leghole or does it matter? This sweater looks like a pair of pants but it's just not fitting right. This electric razor looks like something that should talk to me when I put it to my ear. Everybody else puts little boxes up to their ears. How does this stove work? If I place my rickety forearm on this burner, what would happen, would it be hot, or not? When my mother did this, I blurted out, "What are you CRAZY or something??? What are you doing???" Well, yes, she was crazy. What else do you call it? The shower stall looks like an elevator with its sliding glass door. She went in and out, in and out going nowhere. The refrigerator looks just like the pantry, so I wasn't surprised to see bras and kleenex boxes among the cottage cheese.

But the shoe in the toilet.... I just never figured out the connection there.


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Thank you for the giggles, it gave me a coughing fit!! A shoe in the toilet. . . well, yes, @Pegi said it, \"sounds like a case for Sherlock.\"!!!


<a href='http://www.caregiving.com/members/janshriver/' rel=\"nofollow\">@janshriver</a> thank you for putting a smile on my face. Perhaps she was trying to drink champagne from her slipper?


Love it! This made my evening!


Ah, once again you've made me smile. it also reminded me of the bolero jacket!