Week One of No Meds

lookingheavenward
light-115392_640PURE TORTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poor Mom has suffered SO much this past week as she is no longer on any pain meds. The withdrawal symptoms have been SO VERY SEVERE!!! Neither of us is really sleeping and early this morning (2 a.m. ish) was the worst yet. We were both in tears, I wasn't sure if I should take her to the ER, she refuses to go, I call the nurse and she says I need to have her seen, but Mom still refuses to go. I just prayed over her in tears and did all I could to comfort her.

We had never experienced panic attacks, but now we know what they are all about--and they are AWFUL!!! Her six-week migraine is getting worse and worse and even two hours of massage isn't touching it. I am trying all sorts of home remedies to no avail. I even made her ginger tea this morning (2 a.m.) and that made her so ill. I can't even do that right!

I think we both fell asleep around sunrise for a few scattered minutes. I was so scared, not sure if she would be alive when I woke up, all I could do was commit her into Jesus' hands and rest in Him. I woke up several times just to check and see if she was still breathing.

Today I had been invited to a lady's potluck just down the road but I had to cancel. The last time I was outside the house was on Wednesday--and only to take the garbage barrel out. My neighbor brought it back as I was unable to take five minutes to go and fetch it! I almost forget there are other people and life outside our home!!!

Today her head is a bit better, and no panic attacks so far. She ate twice for me today which is good (one more time than I was able to eat today) and I just finished giving her a little massage and I have an ice bag on her head. I am keeping the house dark and silent as even a bit of light is excruciating as is any bit of noise. Even smells are triggering her! The RSD fire has gotten 10 times hotter--she didn't know it could get any hotter but lo and behold, it can!  The fire is now on the insides of her nose and throat along with her entire body--inside and out. The torture never ends!

No one knows how long these withdrawal symptoms will last. And that is the hardest thing because she wants a time frame, something to look forward to as she watches the clock. All I can say is soon. We have cried together so much these past 4 1/2 weeks. We haven't been able to laugh in almost a week--which NEVER happens. All I can do is pray over her and do what comes naturally. I don't know what else to do!

I have talked with several nurses to ask what else I can do and they think I am doing everything I can. That brings little comfort as I am watching Mom writhe in pain and agony and I am helpless to fix it, to take it away. It is the most gut-wrenching thing to watch! I am praying that next week is better!!

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