What To Do?

Lisa

What To Do?

Lisa
sunset-639507_640Recently it seems, I have friends dropping out of my network and life. You know the scenario, dropping like flies? That would be it. I'm coming up next month on my 50th birthday. In the last year I have lost four friends that have chose to leave our friendship for one reason or another. Some without explanation. Some due to a disagreement.

But whatever the case it does make me look at myself. As I was telling my best friend today (she's not going anywhere), I can basically count on one had who I consider friends in my life. Friends who I can trust, rely on, spend time with and love. I know some people don't have that many friends, and I've always felt blessed to have the friends I do.

Last night, one of these former friends posted a rant on Facebook about me  She said she was trying to see my posts regarding "recent events in town." I know what she was talking about, she was talking about the suicide death of my friend Mitch. To her surprise, I had her blocked so she couldn't see my posts and comments. This triggered something and made her so angry that she made the ugliest post. She called me everything from being a martyr to weaving a web of deceit. That didn't sit will with me as many of you may know.

Obviously, this is a friend I don't need. I'm just wondering at this season in my life, why is this happening? I really don't understand. I'm exhausted of trying to think about it, and I really don't like having my character assassinated. In the meantime, I'm caregiving.

Last night was a hard night. Add stress from this insane scenario on top of it and you have a mess. I have made a decision to scale back the time that I am on social media quite a bit. I do manage a caregiving group called Inner Strength, as well as a book club/group, and a group for my Avon business. I will work these groups early in the day, then touch base again late in the day.

I feel the need to step back. One thing I know is that my caregiving friends here accept me no matter what. No one's judgmental or unkind. Always concerned and caring. For that I'm so grateful to have a place to come to and feel comfort.

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LilMagill

Sometimes I think social media - not this, but Facebook, Twitter, et al. - just bring out the worst in people. I'm so sorry that happened to you and that you've experienced the loss of friends. It sounds like you have a few good ones, and as you say, that's more than many people have. A lot of friendships are probably based on shared good times, so when the going gets tough - when their friend is tied down by obligations like caregiving, maybe - there's nothing in it for them so they fade away.

Hussy

Lisa, I think that when people do things like this, it's because 1) they want to hurt you; and/or 2) they feel insecure and are trying to \"drum up support\" from others. Either way, it reflects poorly on them, not you. I always marvel at the fact that such people are completely oblivious to the fact that they're making fools of themselves. I realize this doesn't change the fact that such behavior cuts so cruelly and like Denise, I hope that with the passage of time, the hurt will dwindle to a bare memory. Sounds like your decision to scale back your social media activities is the right one for you. Just know that we are always here for you.

Denise

What a hurtful situation, Lisa. I just don't understand why people make a private situation so public. What's the point? It's terrible.\r\n\r\nI hope with each day you are able to put the situation in the past and the memory (and sting) fades away.

jan

How sad that someone would chose to berate you publicly on social media; I am so sorry you had to experience that, especially concerning your feelings about your friend's suicide. No one deserves that. \r\nIt sounds like you function marvelously among groups of people, whether professionally or privately. It never hurts to reflect on ourselves, and caregiving gives you ample opportunity to do that, that is for sure. Daily. Sometimes I wonder if caregiving scares people who are not doing it; they are scared they're going to have to do something you do so effortlessly, and that realization isolates you. As tho they might get caregiving responsibilities by osmosis. It's a disappearing act.\r\nThe decisions you've made about your lifestyle sound reasonable and doable. I hope they bring about the results you are wishing for. Thanks for sharing.