When a Day for Red Brings About the Blues

Denise
For several years in a row, I wore black and blue, to reflect the state of my heart, on Valentine's Day. But the pain of my loves lost is noting compared to what you may be feeling. As with all holidays, Valentine's may be a marker for what was in your life, now reminding you of all that you miss. And, that can bring on a terrible case of the blues.

SympathyTree.com, an online memorial site, offers the following tips to help manage your grief, whether you mourn for someone you've lost or just a relationship that has changed because of an illness or disability, on Valentine’s Day.

  • Honor your loved one’s traditions – Get involved with your loved one’s favorite charity or invite friends and family to share in a special meal or event, and spend time together.  This can be a very cathartic and reflective time and helps with the healing process.



  • Visit their grave – Tell them how much you love and miss them.   You may be carrying burdens of guilt, which unless released, may keep you from moving forward.



  • Create an online memorial – Create an affectionate tribute to your loved one on this special day.  Share this online tribute of stories, photographs and videos with friends and family.  This tribute that grows with time can help you deal with your grief in a comforting way.



  • Pledge to join a support group – Don’t deal with your loss alone.  Join a support group to help you cope and interact with people who also are grieving.


I've come up with a few more tips:

  • Write a letter to the person who miss--a family member or friend who has died, your care recipient, your pet, whoever. Tell him or her what you miss about them, what they mean to you, and what you've learned from him or her.



  • Create something--a scrapbook, a photo album, a picture--that reflects your feelings.



  • Allow yourself to feel. You may feel bad, but that's okay. If the bad feelings seem to last, contact your physician to ask whether or not you may be depressed.



  • Celebrate what your family member has, and does, mean to you. Plan a special activity or meal or event that celebrates the life of your family member or friend.


Valentine’s Day is really about just the simplest, but most powerful, human acts--giving and receiving love. On this day, follow your heart and do what brings you comfort and peace.

(We'd love to know:  How do you take care of yourself during difficult days? Please share your ideas in our comments section.)

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