When Do You Get Tangled?


When Do You Get Tangled?

tangled-wires-thumbThis morning on Table Talk on Your Caregiving Journey, Cheryl (aka Squirrel at @cheryl-arnette) joined me to share her caregiving story. You can listen to our show via the player, below.

During our show, Cheryl shared a coping strategy she uses when she gets tangled: She tells herself: Breathe in, breathe out and move on.

I thought this coping strategy was awesome. I also loved the explanation of that place that seems so awful--that tangled place. I'd love to know: When do you get tangled? What situations bring you that place when you feel like you don't know where to turn and how to move? Please share your thoughts in our comments section, below.

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Usually when faced with too many priorities at once. And a tangle right now is that the nursing facility my wife is in is saying they can no longer take care of her health needs. They want to give us a 30 day letter. I confronted the director assertively. We have a meeting for Tuesday--he, Adele and I. Breathe in, Breathe out, stay calm, trust in my Higher Power and hope for the best. They can't accomodate her legitimate care needs because some of the aides don't know how to do their job and don't want to learn. Not enough staff. Cutting corners and doing more with less...seems like it boils down to money. My wife also has a brain and knows what good care is, as do I. They have made my wife the villain because she requires too much time to care for. She opens her mouth when she is being neglected, treated in a fresh manner, waits for hours for meds. I've talked to her about moving but she wants to stay in the area where her doctors are and the hospital we have worked at and been patients at, know us. As Bob Dylan's song says: \"Tangled up in Blue\".


Am moving through one of those tangles now, Denise! :-)\r\n\r\nBut it's less knotty than it was. We're both more calm. The weather is warmer so the coil hasn't been on. Partner knows she can't stop contact from the fire inspector (which we're expecting). I've sent my email to the person whom RoaringMouse had recommended. All that's left to do is see where it goes from here. That's my version of \"Breathe in, breathe out, move on.\"\r\n\r\nI hit my tangles when I feel my partner is compromising our safety. Then it becomes a question of how well I can assert myself, and how, to move us toward some kind of resolution rather than decompensation.