When They Just Don't Get it

KarenLavinia

When They Just Don't Get it

KarenLavinia
Making the best of each moment.


When mom first moved in with me, I thought I didn't have any grand illusions that family and friends would gather around us to help. But it turns out I was wrong. I don't expect a lot. I really don't. And I don't need a lot either. But it turns out what little expectations I did have, are indeed not at all fulfilled. It's frustrating. And some days, it's downright infuriating.

My wish was simple; that a few members of the family - ones I was sure I could count on - could take turns on a certain day of the week (or not) to take mom out to dinner or to do something special with her. Two hours. That's all I want. Three would be a bonus. Mom was excited about this; taking one person to dinner (yes, she pays) one night and then the next week a different person. Seemed so simple to me. We have a small family but even at that, even if just six people do it, they'd only "have" to do it once every six weeks. The benefits are two-fold; Mom gets someone else besides me to chat with, spend time with, be engaged with. And for me; I get to have a few hours in my own house. I don't even want to go anywhere necessarily. Just being in my own home - alone - is something that is important to me. It revives me.

So, I spoke with the relatives/friends. I could b#@ch about all the excuses I hear. I could go on and on about the times I've cared for her when I was exhausted, or sick, or just didn't feel like it. But that serves no purpose at all.

My grand plan hasn't happened even one time. Not one person will commit. Not one.

I'm frustrated. I'm mad. I'm disillusioned. I can't help it. I just am.  ~Karen

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5 Comments

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N

Karen, eventhough you didn't get the hat, you captured the moment with a beautiful picture that will bring joy each time you look at it.\r\n\r\nAccepting what is with no attachement has really helped cope in terms of the lack of family and friends

CathyJ

Amen! You hit the nail on the head...they just don't get it.

KarenLavinia

That's where we're heading too. Maybe this is the wrong attitude but I feel like I'll be paying someone to do what family and friends should be doing. Like I'm paying them to be her friend. I hate that! I could not talk her into buying that hat. Darn it! Still makes me smile tho!

N

Karen, I adore your mother's hat and her smile. I can absolutely identify with your post.